Taking the Black: A Nuzlocke Prologue

Nuzlocke runs are the Pokémon games' version of your local dominatrix. Apart from turning an already fun series into something out of the bowels of Hell, it's a great way to get into the psyche and mindset of the persons involved. It binds you into a routine that has you pulling your hair out of sheer agony, yet at the same time leaves you begging for more pain.

However, there's one glaring difference between a Nuzlocke run and a domme. One has you tied up against your wishes (even though you wanted it to begin with) and proceeds to put you through a session so blisteringly painful you wish you set up a safe word beforehand. The other is a dominatrix.

Lame bait-and-switch joke aside, I've played a few Nuzlockes (my first two are still ongoing as of this day). I've suffered minimal casualties on those runs (so far *crosses fingers*), and it helps that the games I'm running in - X and Omega Ruby - are games I've technically played before (via Y and Ruby respectively). Thing is, I don't think I fully appreciate the serious business that Nuzlockes are supposed to generate. And like a certain father voiced by Mark Hamill once said, "[I] will learn respect, and suffering will be [my] teacher." (Cue scar being made on the wrong side.)

Just hit "A" already...

This is why I'm going to start a blind Nuzlocke run on Pokémon: Black Version 2. Before I begin the prologue though, I think I need to explain a few things. I'm pretty sure I have so, considering that the average stranger probably has no idea what any part of that first sentence even means. So, we'll take a quick musical break and I'll explain both myself and those words above in greater detail in a bit.





CURRENT MUSIC:
Shouji Meguro - "Backside of the TV"
Persona 4 Original Soundtrack

When it comes to associating music with a Nuzlocke, I tend to go with the "nut up or shut up" kind. As the challenge is essentially "Pokémon Hard Mode" (made even harder by the fact that I'm running blind), you have to make sure you're absolutely prepared for whatever may happen. And right now, I want to prove Illidan Stormrage wrong.

"Backside of the TV" plays in Persona 4 when you enter the Midnight Channel. As a catch-all theme for all places outside the realm's dungeons, it's very fitting. Before you run off smacking the Shadows around with golf clubs and pipe wrenches, you'll want to make sure your party's got the right gear, Personas, and equipment needed for the mission at hand.

In a similar vein, I have to stay prepared for anything - random Pokémon battles when I least expect them, a well-stocked supply kit, and knowledge of what lies ahead. I can do the first two, but the latter...? I don't get that luxury, so... *deep breath* I'll have to wing it as I go.





So I'm sure a few of you are asking what the heck this "Nuzlocke" term means. Yes, it's a common term in gamer lexicon - specifically the Pokémon community. For those of you who don't play the Pokémon games on a more-than-casual level, then allow me to explain what the Nuzlocke Challenge is.

Created in late 2010 by "a bored not-yet webcomic artist at UC Santa Cruz" who got tired of "easy" Pokémon run-throughs, the Nuzlocke Challenge modified the way he played through a new game of Pokémon. He loaded up his copy of Ruby Version and imposed upon himself the two core rules that make up the challenge:

1. You are only allowed to capture the first Pokémon you encounter in each new area you explore.
   Using the old Red/Blue/Yellow Version games as an example (since everyone's played those), this means that if you walk into Route 1 for the first time and run into a Rattata, that is the only Pokémon you're allowed to make a capture attempt on. Aww, you don't like Rattata? Did you have your heart set on Pidgey? Too bad. You botched the attempt and accidentally K.O.'ed it? Too bad. You ran into a second Rattata? TOO BAD.
2. Any Pokémon that faints is considered "dead."
   While both rules make the game feel like your own little garden of Hell, this is the one that catches the eyes of the casual crowd. Should any of your Pokémon get knocked out for whatever reason, they're no longer usable. You can either release them or permanently inter them in a PC box, but in either case you're no longer allowed to use them.

That's the Nuzlocke Challenge in a nutshell. Of course, some challengers decide to go nuts and add on a few (or a lot) of extra restrictions. Some enjoy the challenge. Some feel like the vanilla Nuzlocke rules aren't enough. And some people are just plain insane in the membrane.

So why am I doing this, you ask?

I love Pokémon. The franchise is one game series I'll forever hold dear to my heart. But after a couple thousand hours (yes, thousands) running around breeding the perfect set of Pokémon for your team and for others, I can find the game to be a tiny bit dull. There's plenty of replay value, but the main storyline of the game barely holds a candle by comparison. So after a few trial Nuzlockes (both of which are still technically active), I decided to do something new and blindly run a Nuzlocke. Thing is, there were only one set of games that qualified for a blind run: Black 2 and White 2. Some backstory first:

Back when the fifth generation of Pokémon games were new, I felt that they didn't have much standing when compared to the others. As I played White Version, I found myself disheartened as I kept playing. I thought the story to be a tad mediocre, the Pokémon selection to be lackluster and somewhat jarring, and it just didn't keep a firm hold on me like the other games did. (It's why I stopped playing it the moment I got access to the National Dex.) That was then...

...and this is now. Looking over the fifth generation again, I see what Nintendo was aiming to achieve with the decisions I made. Sure, the story could've used a bit of work. The Pokémon selection was initially limited to the new species introduced in Black and White on purpose - as the games were intended to be introduced to a new generation of players, it would make sense to give them an entirely new set of Pokémon to grow up with. Older players like myself often failed to see that - which is probably why I didn't give the games an afterthought after I barely finished White Version (and I mean "barely" - I stopped playing once I unlocked the National Dex even though there's still another third of the story to go).

So, as a sort-of apology to Pokémon's fifth generation, I decided to select Black Version 2 as the game to hold my blind Nuzlocke run on. It was perfect - a fifth-gen game that I hadn't played because of my initial low opinions. Because of this, I currently have very little knowledge on the game apart from two things:

• Story-wise, Black and White 2 take place... two or three years after the events that played out in Black and White. What events these are, I know most of them. (Hey, remember: I didn't fully complete White.)
• The Pokémon available (as far as I know) aren't restricted to just fifth-gen species only.

Time to start!

But enough prattling from me; I'm sure you're sick of me rambling on. Let's Leeroy in like foolhardy Americans and enter Unova Pokémon New York!





Our silly story begins unfolding one rainy Wednesday afternoon in southern California, as I boot up a copy of Pokémon Black Version 2 on my old Nintendo DS. I have my laptop sitting next to me on the desk nearby with a word processor program on standby, ready for any notes I might have to jot down. At the top of the document was a title: "Taking the Black." I remember it being silly because I chose Black Version 2 over White Version 2 simply because I thought black was a cooler color (and it still is). That, and it was a total A Song of Ice and Fire reference.

Anyway, right as soon as the Game Freak logo pops up, all I remember seeing was an extremely bright light emanating from the screens, and then darkness.

The next thing I remember is waking up in a small, dark room with a blue florescent light hanging from above. I looked around, catching a glimpse of a woman in some kind of lab coat standing in front of me. As I got up, ready to ask what was going on, she pulls out a spherical object and casually begins tossing it around in her hands as she talks.

Cue the intro music.

"Uh, hi." That was all I could mutter at first as I studied this lady. A brunette, possibly in her early thirties, with a professional and confident air to her. Clearly this wasn't some weird Saw-based kidnapping I was in right now. I began to speak again but she interrupted.

What is it with all the professors being named after trees?

Wait, what? Did she just say what I thought she just said? I was confused. First some weird light from my DS... and now some lady who claims to be a "Pokémon Professor?" This... this can't be right. I open my mouth but she cuts me off again.

I would, but you keep insisting on talking for me...

Good gods; let me speak, dammit!

To be fair, there are some people that can look androgynous without even trying, but I'm not one of them. Still, though, these portraits are pretty easy to discern from...

Before I gave her an answer, my mind had a bit of a freak-out. I don't know how long it has been between that weird flashy-light thingy and now. Instinctively my hands went to check to see if I was still a boy... and I let out a sigh of relief after they confirmed it.

"I'm a boy."

Well, aren't you going to ask me to dinner first?

"J-" I cut myself off because a thought hit me: "Why does she not know my name?" My brain worked on overtime in those few nanoseconds to come up with a few theories:

• I was kidnapped for some weird science experiment and somewhere along the way they lost my papers documenting who I was. (That, or they didn't bother to check for my wallet.)
• By some weird sci-fi anomaly, I was sucked into my very copy of Black Version 2 and now I had to live this game out.
• I was writing a story so ridiculous and crazy, my mind somehow made it real in my own head and now I'm probably locked away in some asylum, living this out in my head.
• Some weird, twisted combination of the above three possibilities is playing out right now.

As I thought this through, she pulled out a clipboard (with attached pen) with a form filled with doctor mumbo-jumbo written all over. Stuff about "Patient 0106" and "delusional ex-fanfiction writer" and "executing order six-point-six" and some other junk I probably was better off not knowing about...

...and then I looked at the top, noticing the section marked "Subject Name" was left blank. The Professor just arched an eyebrow as she waited for me to take the form and fill in the blank for her. As I did, I figured, "I'm in some weird story right now. If she doesn't know my name, I might as well make something up." My thoughts reflected back on that word processor document I had opened up, and a perfect alias came to my mind.

The sixth generation of games did a smart thing by increasing the character limit on both profile and Pokémon names.

I figured, "This project's called 'Taking the Black.' It's PERFECT." As I handed the clipboard back to her, she fished in her pockets and pulled out a picture of some boy I had never met before.

It could be worse. She could be Professor Oak forgetting that his grandson was named "Douche" or something similar...

Wait, I thought, does she not know who anyone in this experiment-project-thingy is? If so, then that meant I could name my rival! And since my alias was perfect already, I might as well pick a name for this kid that also went along with mine!

I had to.

Smiling, she put the picture away and then put on a mask of some kind. I was going to ask what she was doing, but then she pulled out a strange, handheld device... something that looked like some kind of gas emitter. Curiosity soon turned into fear as I realized what she was doing.

I don't care what the picture shows... she had that device in her hand, a mask over her face, and an evil grin that had the sentence "Your nightmare's only beginning..." etched all over it.

Before I had a chance to respond in anyway, I saw the gas...

...and saw only darkness as I passed out.