The dry-witted readers out there are probably scoffing in amusement and asking: "But Josh... aren't you always an asshole?" Yes, I am. Ask my friends; they'll probably confirm that with either some kind of joking verbal jab at me or relate some anecdote of a moment where I was truly evil.
And yes - for those of you thinking "What kind of hairbrained fools out there like you, Josh?": I have quite a few moments where I'm sweet as a rose, and when the joking's set aside, most people will say that I'm an all-around nice fellow. (I hope.) I just have my moments where I feel like being a complete jerkass.
I have these moments every once in a while and they're always followed up by some measure of hilarity (or someone who got a kick out of it). They come up randomly and can strike at any time:
- me playing the part of "that asshole on the 101" in someone's commute
- stealthily retaliating against a guest I encounter at work who was being a dick first (laser-guided karma, really)
- taking weeks to respond to somepony on Facebook
- ignoring bastards who try to summon you via methods normally reserved for dogs
 |
| If anyone's watched 1000 Ways to Die, then this might bring back a few nightmares... |
Of course, if there's anyone out there who realized how much I'm just playing with everypony here, then please... keep reading!
*shoves everypony into the wood chipper anyway* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
CURRENT MUSIC:
KCE Japan Sound Team - "Cavern"
Metal Gear Solid Original Game Soundtrack
You ever have the music set to random when you just want ambient noise? How things play and you're doing whatever it is you're doing when out of nowhere comes a piece that makes you shudder? Your hairs stand on end as a chill blows over you. Goosebumps form on your skin. A wave of nostalgia smothers you with feelings that this music piece evokes, leaving you longing for the moment in time that this reminds you of - no matter how good or bad said moment was.
For me, this happened yesterday. I was introducing my girlfriend to one of my all-time favorite video game franchises: the Metal Gear series. Since I don't have Metal Gear or Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, I figured I'd get her started on the one most average Metal Gear fans start with: PlayStation's famed hit Metal Gear Solid. Immediately after the opening cutscenes the gameplay began.
Now what does this story and the previous paragraph have to do here? Well, "Cavern" is the first track you hear when a new game starts up. Snake begins his mission at an underground supply cavern and must make his way to the cargo elevator at the other side. Slight problem with that, however - the cargo elevator's not at Snake's level. He has to sneak past the patrols and wait for the elevator to come down before he can board it.
A perfect blend of music right here. "Cavern" has that "starting the mission" feel as well as a feel of ambient dread. Mind you, it's not a "this is a suicide mission; I'm going to die" dread - it's more of a "stopping a potential nuclear attack rests solely upon my shoulders" kind. You know, the kind that could spell doom for the world. It's a unique blend that "Cavern" gives off - and as you stealthily make your way to the elevator, you can't help but give off some kind of fear...
As it's the beginning of October (as well as the beginning of my new "mission"), I figured that this track would definitely be a good starter.
Mahito Yokota - "Dash Yoshi"
Super Mario Galaxy 2 Original Soundtrack
And now that we got that chilling musical section out of the way, let's warm ourselves up with a piece that not only is upbeat, but might cause another nostalgia trip for gamers out there reading this.
When I was playing through Super Mario Galaxy 2 on the Wii, I was enjoying it rather immensely. I was steamrolling through the levels with little to no problem (thank you, Super Mario Galaxy, for giving me the intensive training necessary to master your engine - and by extension, Galaxy 2's) and found myself enjoying the soundtrack that I was hearing. I was thinking, "There's no way they could make this better, is there?"
I was wrong. I unlocked a new level by the name of "Hightail Falls Galaxy" and was introduced to a re-done variant of a certain athletic track from Super Mario World. Holy frak. I don't know what happened afterwards - all I remember was that I was found smiling from a very power auralgasm, floating in a pool of nostalgic memories, and screaming "MOVE FASTER, POKEY!".
(I swear, the above paragraph is all true.)
Anyway, I don't really need to describe how amazing this track is - anyone who's ever had (extensive) time playing Super Mario World on the Super Nintendo will know how amazing this is. If you didn't grow up with it... then I do feel sorry for you. *starts humming the music at work*
Good afternoon, everyone! Welcome to the third day of October - which is the third day of the fourth quarter of the year! I'm your (totally not psychotic) host Josh Blanco and I'll be here to talk to you about things you're probably not even remotely interested in!
Okay, fine - you were probably interested in hearing about this thing I wanted to do with people that involved games and what not. Well, just keep reading and you'll see what this idea is.
Let's Play: The
(There's a World 10?)
For those of you who aren't gamers or just don't know the terminology and lexicon that has entered our world, let me define what an LP is.
Mind you, it's not a Long Play, nor does it have anything to do with music. In the gaming community, LP stands for "Let's Play" - a sort-of video game "walkthrough" with commentary interspersed throughout. It can be done by many means (as a screen-capture with a story, a text-based adventure with funny pictures, etc.), but the primary form of Let's Plays involve capturing the gameplay on video and commentating somehow (either with live-recorded dialogue or text captions).
I say "walkthrough" loosely because the goal isn't necessarily to show people how a game is played. While that may be a goal, it's not the reason why many people record their game sessions. Some show off nifty tricks that most others haven't seen before. Some expand upon the plot or help explain confusing details or battles.
However, the prime reason why people watch these videos is the sheer hilarity factor that these LPs (and their commentary) exude. The above YouTube video showcases popular LPer "ProtonJon" running through one particularly difficult level in the infamous Kaizo Mario World. With this (and Part 2), hilarity ensues.
Now, while he nor the video are the prime reason behind the popularity of LPs, this is a good example of things I like doing - showing off skills and abilities, introducing friends to something particularly
New Super Jerky Classhole Brothers
(Because New Super Mario Bros. Wii didn't sound "cool" enough.)
This is where that Facebook announcement (for those of you who came here from Facebook) comes in.
Reason being because after going through a binge consisting of extremely buttery popcorn and a frakton of Let's Play videos last week, I came across two particularly hilarious vids that just begged to be watched.
The first was a sample of a NSMB Wii Let's Play done by the Freelance Astronauts. In it, Maxwell Adams (as Mario) and his three pals Pipes!, Ferr, and Evek (as Luigi, Blue Toad, and Yellow Toad, respectively) tackle World 8-5 to great hilarity.
Quoting TV Tropes: "Ten seconds into their New Super Mario Bros. Wii playthrough, pipes! christens the game 'Super Asshole Bros. Wii.' 4-ish hours of backstabbing, juvenile humor, and screaming nonsensical death threats promptly follow." This video arguably supports that claim, showcasing perhaps one of the funniest moments of their run. Between Evek dying ten seconds into the video, Ferr belting out sea shanties, Pipes! bringing the entire team "To Hell!" (and killing them all as a result), and a bunch of other silly things, it's quite amusing to watch.
The other is actually the first video of an eighteen-part series that also features New Super Mario Bros. Wii. Recorded last year by The Runaway Guys, this hilarious run (with the first episode showcased above) shows the adventures of Chuggaconroy, NintendoCapriSun, ProtonJon, and guest player JoshJepson (same color-coding scheme as used with the Freelance Astronauts) doing a complete run of the Wii platformer (that is, they're aiming to get all the Star Coins and completing all the levels).
I don't think I need to describe the hilarity and the awesomeness any more - you'd get that realization if you watched the video.
Anyway, after watching all those Let's Plays (particuarly the ones I just presented to you, I had an idea form in my head. I decided that I should get a copy of New Super Mario Bros. Wii, find some friends who'd want to spend an entire day playing this game, set up a place and time to do this, and then watch as the rest of the day devolves into stupidity and hilarity.
I'm not looking to make my own Let's Play. I'm not the world's funniest man, nor am I capable of capturing an awesome gameplay sesh like this. I just want to experience a game like this with three other people and watching how ridiculous the session turns out.
Of course, the question is... who will be the people who play with me? All I know is this: this has to happen before the year is out.
Now, for those of you who are expressing interest in doing this, there are a few things you should be aware of:
1.) When this happens, this will most likely be occurring on a Tuesday or Thursday.
Those are usually my days off, so I figure it might as well work out on those days. Plus, to the people who have work and/or class those days, playing an entertaining video game with lots of friends and watching the wackiness ensue would be a good stress reliever.
2.) Place, time, and food/drink situation to be determined after the core group's made.
Even though it's my idea, I can't host it (on account that I rent a room). So, this obviously means that if one of you has a Wii (or if someone who just wants to watch this stupidity has one), you might be our host(ess). Pizza's a classic gamer mainstay course, so delivery might be an idea. Beer/Alcohol optional? (Drunken gaming always proves to be hilarious - Pipes! was apparently drunk during the Freelance Astronauts' run.)
3.) Dibs on being Blue Toad!
Following the examples made by Ferr and ProtonJon, I'm probably going to be the resident griefer-slash-(wannabe-)professional player of the game. Don't get me wrong - I'm there to have fun, and I'm going to do my best to beat the game with the rest of you. I'm just going to be a complete jackass while I do. (Tee-hee.) With this in mind, expect the following when things begin to go my way:
- me blitzing ahead of everyone else when I get a Star and yelling, "Bye, guys!"
- me bubbling at the flagpole if I'm the only one alive
- me singing sea shanties if I have control of one of those platform things (specifically if it's World 8-5)
- other hilarious actions of douchebaggery
Well, that about wraps up today's entry. If anyone's interested in participating in our own concentrated jerk-ish/hilarious gameplay of New Super Mario Bros. Wii, then contact me and let's see if we can figure something out!
I'll be seeing you tomorrow, so take care of yourselves until then!
No comments:
Post a Comment