And I stare here and dream, wondering what tomorrow's yesterday will bring, for the gears keep clanging and the ocean keeps roaring, yet the lion sits and weeps for its lack of bravery in this world filled with nothing but dogs and guns.
Where is life? Where is pain? Where is the future the past promised me all so long ago? I keep looking out the window for a sign - a hope - a murmur in the wind that fate brings me goodness and justice... but it never comes. It stays still, silent, never moving until it wants to make a delivery. But that delivery never comes, for life never delivers when we want it to, but when we deliver ourselves.
Is it injustice that those birds can glide through glacial skies? That prayers fall and die while reality presses on? No, I say! It is fair; it is pure; it is wholly acceptable - and yet we still dare to defy it. After all, we are human - and the bravest of us will stand back to fight, to wage war, to earn our happy endings and earn our freedoms.
But not today. Today, we're strapped down by something - someone - some... obstacle that seems to wallow in front of our unpaved paths. We need to move them - move us - move the world we are in so we can overtake and overcome our pressures. And as we do that, one man will rise up to take what makes sense and spin it around so it makes sense without making sense - to take sanity, boil it down to insanity, and somehow present it to the world as an acceptable sanity.
Today... I think I'll drive down this road of madness. I'll take this exit and wonder what I am doing. And we shall see where my delirious nature decides to take me in my life. It certainly won't end up with a roof over my head - no, I lost that right two weeks ago to this day - but I've managed to live thus far. And with each day, I find myself losing most of my sanity, spiraling downward and yet refusing to drown. Call it madness or detached hope... but I plan on rising.
But not today. I stare out the window and look onward, envious of the world around me. Can I do something about my state? I'm sure I can - I just lack the resources to do so, because in this dog-eat-dog world you need things to get things. And how do you get these things without having things to begin with? Catch-22s abound and I lie here in the seat of the vehicle of life (my life, no less), wondering where I went wrong, where I failed, and where I will later succeed.
And here begins the dawn! The hope for the day rises, and I wake up, roll up the windows, place the keys in the ignition, and wonder what will happen. All I know is, it will be warm in the day as I get to taste happiness yet again... and then the warmth will give way to a chill in the night that most in the world will never have to feel. I envy those people... those with a supply of food they can make and store... those with a roof over their head... those with a warm and cozy bed to retire to in the night...
Tarry and worry not about this trite soul, though - I've had enough. May the Lords of Kobol help souls elsewhere - I've had my chance, and my fate is all but sealed. Help the ones who can be helped while they still can, and leave the fear with me alone as I rest in public and keep an eye open while I lay my eyes to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment