A Thorn and Some Tweezers

So in a starting effort to begin typing things on here, I decided to try something new. (Gee, I sure haven't tried doing this before.)

I take that back. I'm not trying anything new. Matter-of-fact, I'm trying to finish something I started a long time ago. In my current pattern of "fail and fail some more," I figured this would be an interesting way to (yet again) attempt to break the cycle and yank this throbbing thorn that's been in my side for ages now. Yesterday's entry was a sign of this, and today you'll see what it was exactly that I rebooted.

Lords of Kobol; it's been that long since I played this game...!?

For those of you who don't recognize the game, this is the save screen of Pokémon White Version for the Nintendo DS. Before anyone starts yelling at how I technically started this "reboot" process before yesterday and thus lied, I'd like to say to y'all: can it. I'm actually working on completing the game with more fervor than I did before.

Yes, I say "completing" because as of this writing, I have yet to beat Pokémon White's main story. It's been over three years since I got the game, and it was only a few nights ago when I finally decided to get my eighth and last gym badge in the game.

Only mere feet away from completing the game, our hero decides to do something else more "worthy" than square off against Unova's Elite Four.

Now I'm finding myself at the front door of the Unova region's Elite Four - a mere four battles from attaining the title of Champion, beating the main story of the game (sort of), and getting closer to being able to transfer my Pokémon from my fourth-generation games to White. This, in turn, will then allow me to transfer said Pokémon to my copy of Y and therefore have some of my old combat buddies back on the front lines. And yes: maybe some trade fodder as well.

So why has it taken me this long to finish the fight beat the main story of this game? To be frank, there's a few reasons - and the fact that White Version didn't captivate me as much as the previous (and subsequent) games did is a huge factor. Pacing was an issue - while the prior generations had a semi-decent story that happened while you were campaigning to be the very best (like no one ever was), the story of Black and White felt more... forced upon you. Yes, I understand: story's essential in any kind of media. (I even emphasize that philosophy myself.) But when you force too much story onto the player at one point, it becomes tedious.

Imagine yourself getting a painful thorn stuck in your foot. You start limping around because it hurts like hell, which forces you to sit down to take care of it. At first you can't pull it out with your bare hands - your nails are too short; you idiotically pushed it in and made the situation worse; it's in a peculiar location that just screams "pain valley"; etc. So, after some more limping around, you find yourself armed with a set of tweezers. The story can continue, and you can pull that nasty thorn out. ...Right?

WRONG. All of a sudden, the fates decide that during the removal process, you snap the top half of the thorn off, or your door rapidly swings open and slams your foot, or the tweezers are surprisingly sharp that you accidentally stab yourself. You inflict a series of painful spasms that have you screaming epithets at the deity (or nearest woman) of your choice for no explicable reason, and now the situation has become worse - all because you wanted to fix the problem.

That's how White Version is for me. As I progressed through the game, I found myself advancing through the game, only to get yanked by the story. Yes, that's nice - N wants to free the Pokémon and all, but gods; I'm trying to earn my fifth badge! Can't I go on to the next city and - "No!?" You want me to backtrack to some armpit city so I can get a frakton of exposition that may or may not come up in the future? Gods; all I want to do is unlock the ability to transfer my old Pokémon into this game! Can't you - oh, great; yet another encounter with Team Plasma. Can't I at least get my next badge now...?

Anyone who was under the age of 12 when they first played Black or White hit "no."
Us older gamers, however... well, that varies.

The whole point of that metaphor? Yes, Professor Juniper: I totally and sincerely regret going on this journey that's taken me three-plus years to accomplish. I'm tired of this region that claims to be based off of New York City, tired of the hypocritical Team Plasma, and tired of Pokémon that look even uglier than Bidoof. The first thing I'm going to do when I'm champion is move everything I own in this gods-forsaken crap-hole you call "Unova" to someplace much sexier and awesome. (Someplace French like Kalos.) So step aside, give me that Master Ball I'm probably never going to use, and let me finish powerleveling my team already so I can leave this [expletive of your choice here] already!

*huff*