Cryptic Metaphor

I don't even know what prompted me to write this, but...

(Author's Note: Today's entry is brought to you in part by this delusional, sanity-questioning... for lack of a better term, I'm going to go ahead and call it a "nightmare..." that I had last night. Needless to say, it was frightening... but at the same time, it was cryptic. For the sake of trying to figure this out, I'm going to post what I remember of it here. Maybe we'll figure something out...)





I awoke to a dark void surrounding me. Startled, I looked around nervously, taking in my surroundings. Nothing but an endless sea of black, with violet-white smoke and flames rising from the floor... if what I was standing on could indeed be called a "floor." Slowly, I brought myself to a standing position and took a step forward. While I felt my foot make contact with the "floor," there was also the sensation of free-fall coursing through my body... like those dreams where you wake up with the sensation that you're falling. Cursing to myself, I asked out loud, "Where the hell am I?"

An echoed, semi-metallic voice rang out with a light rasp. You know exactly where you are. 

I spun my head around to locate the origin of that statement, only to find nothing. I blinked and looked around again. "...hello?"

No response. I voiced out again. "Anyone there?"

Again, no response. It was really beginning to freak me out. All I saw was the black void, the violet-white fires below me that I swear were just going to roar up and scorch me whole. I took a few steps forward, seeing if that would have the... voice... speak up. However, nothing. I let out a loud sigh and thought to myself, Maybe I'm just hearing things...

Are you entirely sure about that?

I looked around again, finding no possible source for this eerie voice that could apparently read minds. Maybe I'm just hallucinating, I thought. I mean... there's no such thing as... well, wherever I'm at. 

Is that so? Then how are you here?

That voice again! I looked up at the "sky" and yelled out loud. "Who the hell are you?"

You know exactly who I am.

"And who, if I may ask, would that be?"

I'm like you. I have no name.

I rolled my eyes, recognizing the Metal Gear Solid reference. "...okay, Gray Fox, you can stop speaking in cryptic metaphors. Show yourself!"

No response. I sighed. "Fine. If you're not going to show yourself, then at least answer me this: am I dreaming?" 

Well, what do you think?

I pinched myself on the right cheek. Nothing. I pinched myself again and twisted the skin a little bit. Still got nothing. Well, if this isn't a dream, then... 

And no, you're not dead, either.

I was utterly confused. I can't be dreaming, and if this disembodied bastard of a voice wasn't lying to me, then I was still alive... as far as I knew. So what the hell was this black void of violet flames? I began running a list of theories through my head. A crazy dream originating from sleep deprivation, perhaps? No, couldn't be; I was tired from work the night before, but I got my full eight hours - I was just a little sleepy. Some crazy form of purgatory? If so, then where were the other souls waiting to be judged? It couldn't be delirium; I know I'm not that crazy.

So where the deuce was I!?

As if on cue, the mystery voice rang out. Look within yourself. You already hold the answer close within you...

I blinked at the words, then looked around again. 

After all, the voice chuckled derisively, you were the one who created this void...

...what? Me? That just sounded preposterous. Unless... The moment I realized where I was, my face blanched. 

Yes... you know where you are now. Excellent. 

I was inside my heart.

As ludicrous as it sounds, I don't think my conclusion far off from the truth. I always joked around how cynical and heartless I was and how my soul didn't exist - how instead of a beating human heart, I had an oil derrick pumping jet black sludge through my veins - but the notion of me actually being inside this mechanical contraption? I began doubting the voice again. This... this has to be a dream... 

If that's the case, then why don't you try waking yourself up right now?

I pinched myself painfully one last time, and -





- I woke up, sweaty and out of breath. I took my surroundings in - the posters on the wall, the computer desk with my laptop and numerous figurines strewn across the top, the ever-existing "mess" of clothing and Nerf weaponry scattered on the floor - I was in my room.

As I sighed in relief, I heard something rather faintly. Even though I was no longer dreaming, I could've it was there... real and mysterious as it was before...sworn 

A reflection of your past; an omen of your future...

...what the hell...?





Now, I don't know what to make of it, but... I'm going to go ahead and assume that either my mind is just screwing with me yet again... or I'm self-prophesying about something that I don't want to think about.

What about you, readers? What do you think? Is there a meaning to all this, or am I just being delusional?