2013 Birthday Gift Ideas for Me

It just occurred to me right now yesterday that in two weeks, it'll be my birthday.

Wow. How could I forget such an important day for me this year? I become another year older in a mere thirteen days (counting this one)! I can officially be referred to as someone in their "mid-twenties!" While I could blame me and my bad memory, I'm not going to - this year's not a substantial birthday.

In about thirteen days, I'm likely to get something similar to this.

Confused? Keep reading to find out both what I mean... and what I want. *shifty eyes*





CURRENT MUSIC:
Michiru Oshima - "Favorite Daughter"
Fullmetal Alchemist Original Soundtrack 1

Considering how today's entry is quite silly (what, with me blatantly demanding politely asking for birthday presents), I figured we needed something that augments and matches the overall mood. I have several scores with tracks that match, but this particular piece just takes the cake.

Featured in the original Fullmetal Alchemist anime (not to be confused with Brotherhood), this string- and horn-dominated track just gives off an air of ridiculousness. Usually used whenever Maes Hughes starts excessively talking about his family, it also provided a hilarious backdrop for Edward Elric's mock duel against Roy Mustang.

I'm honestly wondering if the recording orchestra giggled somewhere during practice...





'Allo, everyone! Let's just keep on reading about birthday-related things, shall we?





Still puzzled about that whole "not a substantial birthday" bit from earlier? Before you start jumping to conclusions, I'm not saying my birthday's not important or anything of the sort. I like my birthday. For one day of the year, I get to feel like someone I'm not. People treat me like I'm special - almost like a god. Some restaurants throw me a free dessert with my meal on that day and sing gaudy songs to honor my life. Every once in a while people give me cool things because I wanted it at one point in my past. (Who can honestly say "no" to free stuff?)

What I meant was this: this birthday's not "important" enough - I'm only turning 24. In my view, there are only seven birthdays that should be important to the average American:

1. 1 - Congrats! Your odds of suffering from SIDS just dropped dramatically!
2. 10 - Double digits, dude!
3. 13 - Drop that "tween" crap - you're officially a "teenager" now!
4. 18 - Legally an adult!
5. 21 - Alcohol time anywhere around the world!
6. 25 - Ooh, I can rent a car now!
7. 100 - How the frak did you become a centenarian and I didn't?

This is not to say that there aren't any other important birthdays. These are just the standard ones. People can add other significant numbers if they want to or augment the reasoning behind a pre-existing one(e.g.: 16 for American girls, 21 for legally owning a handgun in the United States, 15 for girls with Mexican/Latin American roots, 23 for my friends), but the above lists the standard ones for Americans.

Anyway, with that in mind, one can see why I'm "not" caring so much about my 24^th birthday all that much. Of course, this is still my birthday, so that does mean I'm gonna find a way to celebrate it.

And what better way to celebrate me getting closer to death than by giving me gifts so I don't think about becoming older? We all love gifts - I can't think of a single person who doesn't want gifts on their birthday. In the highly unlikely event that you haven't yet realized what this entry is, then get ready to read...

Josh Blanco's 24^th Birthday
Crazy-Ass Wish List of Craziness

(listed in no particular order)


money

Any non-manager retail worker who made this in a month... is a liar. =P

Let's face it - money's a standard gift these days. Some argue that it's a "lazy" and "thoughtless" gift which may send a "I don't know you well enough" or "I didn't care enough" to the recipient. Others counter with the theory that perhaps the person getting the cold, hard cash will be delighted because they get to buy what they want (as opposed to some tacky gift that'll only collect dust).

I support both arguments, but in this particular birthday, the second viewpoint wins. Between bills to pay off and expenditures that actually require a few physical dollars present, it would be nice to have some pocket money. Cash never hurt, right?


earbuds

Any brand will do - so long as it plays my tunes or sounds, I'm happy.

I'm not in desperate need of a set of earbuds. I have a working pair, and thus far they seem to be lasting. (I'll give them another two months, though...) However, I do tend to keep an extra set or two around as emergency replacements. Should my current set be broken or lost in a mess I created, it'd be nice for me to have a pair on standby... just in case.

You never know, right?


World of Warcraft time card

Entry to Azeroth requires one of these cards.

I haven't played World of Warcraft in months. While it could be argued that it's not such a bad thing, it's not necessarily a good thing, either. I happen to enjoy the game and the lore (and with the recent events that have been unfolding, I'm sure I missed out on some crazy stuff that happened "live"), and it's great fun for me.

Thing is, that requires money. And while I could just use the money from the first gift idea, the truth is that I don't want to. (Priorities.) So, that's why the card's on here. It'd be nice to play as Gefallen or Chariselle again. I could use a good online sesh inside Azeroth.


bacon

Epic Meal Time approves of this picture.

I seriously hope I don't have to explain why I would ask for a gift like this.


8GB+ SDHC card

Just one of the many variants that exist today.

With all the cool things that keep getting released on the 3DS eShop, I'm starting to get worried that I might just get a little too much than my current SD card can support. Granted, the one that came with my 3DS is a decent 4GB, but if I decide to buy an entire library of old-school games for my handheld system or take one too many pictures within Animal Crossing: New Leaf (I most likely would), it would be nice to have that extra space for all of it.

Now I wish I could say the same for my laptop, which is in dire need of hard disk memory. One thing at a time...


sushi

It's very bad to look at this picture when you're hungry.

I'm not going to lie - this particular gift is probably one that won't last long - particularly if I'm starving on the day I get it. Rest easy - I'm going to enjoy every single savory bite.


The Legend of Korra: Original Music from Book One

Whoever gets me this will get one million dollars* and infinite girlfriends**.

For many years, fans of Avatar: The Last Airbender (myself included) have yearned for a physical soundtrack chock-full of the aural awesomeness that spawned from the work of The Track Team. To say that the whole ordeal thus far has been a struggle is an understatement. Bryan Konietzko, co-creator of both Avatar: The Last Airbender and its sequel series The Legend of Korra, stated that "the idea of a soundtrack was blocked at a bureaucratic impasse." (Personally, I read that statement as "greedy corporate executives suck." And I don't just mean that they suck money and souls.) Nine years we've waited thus far... and it looks as though we're going to have to wait longer.

So imagine my surprise when I found out last month that the powers that be actually authorized and released a physical soundtrack for Korra. I think I died for a minute after glazing it over... and then came back to life with a smile on my face.

Book One may only have been twelve half-hour episodes long, but in that time they were able to showcase quite a lot of sound. Sound that I would very much like to have a physical copy of. It may not have something with raw emotion like A:TLA's "Last Agni Kai", but I'll be damned if I say no to Korra's combination of Asian flair and jazz.


Fire Emblem: Kakusei Original Soundtrack

The problem with posting the album cover on here is that it's a pretty big spoiler.

Fire Emblem Awakening might very well be one of the best games I've played on the 3DS. Being a part of a famed series doesn't hurt its position. Neither does the soundtrack, which is quite amazing in my book. All of it plays with the motifs they set up in-game, and as a whole, I'd say that it's a balanced soundtrack, with very little of it (if any) not matching up to the overall album's feel.

And the crazy part about Awakening's soundtrack is that it's something that collectors like me would actually want need. Every piece from the 3DS game is present on the four discs. It clocks in at over four hours, and also included is a fifth disc with many of the sound effects and an HD-quality version of the game's opening cinematic. What's more, the whole shebang comes in a totally-not-standard fold-out CD box complete with an equally-oversized album booklet. (As a reference to fellow Awakening players: remember that little art booklet you got if you pre-ordered the game? From what I've read online, the album booklet puts that thing to shame.)

For those of you scouting Amazon or other online sellers, I'm aware of the rather steep price. (MSRP plus shipping seems to come out to around $60 USD from what I've seen...) I know for most of you, that seems rather steep for a birthday present, but if you're rich or just feel like making yourself a god(dess) in my eyes, I think I just gave you an idea. =P


StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm Collector's Edition

Opening that box would mean death for the Terran race... because when the Zerg play hide-and-seek, they always win.

It saddens me that I've yet to get a copy of StarCraft II expansion. Most everyone I know who has StarCraft II has it already, and here I am sitting on Wings of Liberty stuff.

Granted, I don't play online all that often (they're either too strong or too weak, and never in your favor), but it'd be nice to play the campaign, watch the story unfold, play with the new units, and... well, have all the fun stuff. Blizzard's always good with their collector's edition packages - nice goodies for collectors like me to laud over and hold.

Anyone want to get me one? They can be cheap if you know where to look.


green vuvuzela

Allow me to play for you the song of my annoying side.

These things have annoyed football players (yes, I mean soccer) since their rise to prominence in 2010. These things have laid waste to Mordor and its Fellowship. Some nutjob tried making a game of it and hoped it would sell. (Not really.) And now... it's YOUR turn to suffer.

Yeah, that's right. I'm still dreaming of conducting a "vuvuzela drive-by." I might have lied about ordering a vuvuzela two years ago, but I'm telling the cold, hard truth about conducting one of these. One of these days... someone is going to get it. They won't expect me rolling up in my car and blasting them. And when it's over... well... let's just say blood will be flowing. From their eardrums. Because I tooted a vuvuzela.

To be honest, part of the reason I put a vuvuzela on my wish list (this time, at least) was because I wanted to flag this entry to the NSA and make fun of them. *looks up* That's right, you Fourth Amendment-violating shits - I'm gonna conduct a drive-by! With a vuvuzela! Saying "drive-by" this many times in these two paragraphs must really make me look like a bad guy! *rolls eyes* Have fun wasting my tax dollars by reading my blog and upping my view count, you incompetent flatfoots! *the finger*

*clears throat* And now that I'm done playing the oh-so-dangerous villain, let's move on to the next item on the list.


$25+ worth of BrickArms weapons

My Lego minifigures have a right to defend themselves. We'll just have to supply the means.
(Photo from BrickArms.)

"AK-47s for EVERYONE! Huzzah!"

No, seriously. I think I need more weapons. And considering how I don't have any of the newest stuff for my armies, it'd be nice for me them to get some new hardware to play with. New Halo-based weapons, more modern-day stuff that my forces could use... the possibilities are endless.

And considering how I'm using them for my upcoming D&D campaign... it'd be nice to have more.


any of the new Lego Castle sets

Blue Lannisters fighting Targaryens? Well, this should make things interesting.
(Pictured: Lego Set 70402: "The Gatehouse Raid")

Ah, such an old favorite. I remember owning a few Castle sets back when I was growing up. I actually have remnants of that one giant Lego castle in my storage unit (courtesy of my cousins). And now that I've begun getting into A Song of Ice and Fire, I think I could use a few more sets myself. And the new ones that I've seen in shelves do not disappoint at all.

A gift like this would accomplish two things:

1. I get to relive a bit of my childhood!
2. Surprisingly, sets like these would work well in my D&D campaign.

I'm not kidding. I want these.


A Song of Ice and Fire books (minus A Game of Thrones)

No spinning gears (and Harrenhall) to see here. Use your imagination!

One of these days, I'll have to talk about A Song of Ice and Fire. But for now, know this: if you choose to get me these books, I'd prefer it if the gift met the following criteria:

• Paperback, please.
• DON'T get me A Game of Thrones - I already have it.

Follow those two guidelines and I think we'll be set for me to explore Westeros and all the other countries no problem. That, and I can get ahead of the non-book readers and see what other surprises lie in store.


Game of Thrones "Hand of the King" replica pin

If I was ever offered this job... I'd flee.

While we're on the subject of A Song of Ice and Fire, here's another interesting gift idea!

If I was given a choice between starving on the streets and being promoted to the Hand of the King, I'd begin to wonder if someone was after my life. I'd be especially suspicious of whoever bought me this (and even more so if they themselves name me as Hand), and I would begin getting paranoid.

To be honest, I don't know if I would survive the game. I might for three days, but after that... I'm not sure.


One Million Bells (Animal Crossing: New Leaf)

Money is one of the forms of power. This person's got loads of it.

So I have this nice house in Animal Crossing: New Leaf. It needs to get bigger. And that requires money for upgrades. Money I just don't have. Money that other people just miiiight have...

*laughs* This is a rather silly gift, but it's something I would love. I could easily expand all the rooms I have and make them bigger, which means they can be extremely decorated and full of awesome things. Sadly, one million bells is chump change (that's about three house payments), but any money beats no money.


vehicle sun shade

A few dollars' investment can net you a much cooler car over time. Literally.

It might be the end of summer for us here in the Northern Hemisphere, but that doesn't necessarily mean the heat's gone. Where I live, September and October tend to be quite warm (damn you, Santa Ana winds), which means cars can become quite warm.

Let's spare one more car from the incoming heat wave today by getting Chariselle a sun shade of her own, eh?

In case you're wondering, I drive a Toyota Yaris. That should be enough to determine the screen size.


all-expenses paid trip to Little Tokyo, Los Angeles, CA

The last time I was down there was... wow. My birthday last year.

I can't believe it's been a year since I've been down to Los Angeles. I've basically been stranded here in Ventura County for what feels like ages, and I've been craving a trip to go down and shop, eat, and hang out for the longest time.

Of course, with how schedules work and what not, I'm not sure that's even feasible anymore. But who knows - maybe I might get lucky.

Originally, I wanted just ramen from Little Tokyo. Then I got to thinking: what if I wanted stuff from the shops as well? I promise I'll be a modest spender (I tend to spend less than $50 overall in the shops)!


Nintendo 3DS prepaid card

Any amount will do.

There is a LOT of things on the 3DS eShop that I want. I mentioned that before when I said I wanted an SDHC card earlier, but now you see the other "half" of the gift requesting: the paired presents.

Let's think about it. I hypothetically get the card. I now have the space to get all those cool games I want to play and have "for having's sake." HOWEVER! I don't have the money to download those games onto that SDHC card. Woe is me.

Knowing my luck, the eShop just might release something cool online the day before my birthday (which falls on a Friday this year; eShop releases generally show up on Thursday mornings), so it's best to be prepared.


birthday wishes, greetings, and what not

The gift everyone gives, thanks to social media.

Well, this is by far the easiest gift to get me. All it takes is two seconds and you're done! While I could argue about the (lack of) merits and sincerity if people do this, I'm not going to - I'm pretty sure I'm guilty of this myself. We'll have to leave these arguments aside for now and save it for another day.

Digression aside, why not do this?


anything else y'all could come up with

Anything and everything is possible at this point.

Of course, the more clever/evil readers out there just looked at the past gifts and thought to themselves, "What lame presents! I can easily do better than this clown's supposed "ideas."

For those of you crazy enough to, I challenge you to trump these ideas with something better!





Yeah, that's right - twenty gift ideas y'all could get for yours truly. Should you choose to actually get me something off this list, I'll leave you to your shopping. Not like it matters - I'm just being silly (like always). The 19^th present idea is good enough for me.

I'll leave you to it. Until the 'morrow, everyone!