Taking the Black: A Nuzlocke Prologue

Nuzlocke runs are the Pokémon games' version of your local dominatrix. Apart from turning an already fun series into something out of the bowels of Hell, it's a great way to get into the psyche and mindset of the persons involved. It binds you into a routine that has you pulling your hair out of sheer agony, yet at the same time leaves you begging for more pain.

However, there's one glaring difference between a Nuzlocke run and a domme. One has you tied up against your wishes (even though you wanted it to begin with) and proceeds to put you through a session so blisteringly painful you wish you set up a safe word beforehand. The other is a dominatrix.

Lame bait-and-switch joke aside, I've played a few Nuzlockes (my first two are still ongoing as of this day). I've suffered minimal casualties on those runs (so far *crosses fingers*), and it helps that the games I'm running in - X and Omega Ruby - are games I've technically played before (via Y and Ruby respectively). Thing is, I don't think I fully appreciate the serious business that Nuzlockes are supposed to generate. And like a certain father voiced by Mark Hamill once said, "[I] will learn respect, and suffering will be [my] teacher." (Cue scar being made on the wrong side.)

Just hit "A" already...

This is why I'm going to start a blind Nuzlocke run on Pokémon: Black Version 2. Before I begin the prologue though, I think I need to explain a few things. I'm pretty sure I have so, considering that the average stranger probably has no idea what any part of that first sentence even means. So, we'll take a quick musical break and I'll explain both myself and those words above in greater detail in a bit.