Peeking Over the Fence

Well, well, well... what have we here?

Conveniently censored to prevent spoilers.

Could this very well represent the shape of things to come tomorrow? Tune in and find out!

Break Out the Drawing Board!

I yearn for some kind of reader base for my blog here. Despite what I put on here, I just can't seem to draw people in. I write decent entries (well, at one point I did), make the site feel accessible to most potential patrons, and occasionally put something cool and/or funny up. And while I can get some views (I usually get more if I post a link on my Facebook), the resulting statistics are not what I was hoping for. I went to sleep wondering why, and it took me the whole night to realize the very obvious answer.

This is a personal blog.

Patch 2013.02.27JDB

Today started with a blank page.

This is what I had planned for today's entry. As you can see, that didn't happen.

Well, that's how most stories start, don't they? An empty space waiting for someone to pour their words onto - a sheet of paper or a white screen waiting for the writer to give it life. I stared at my laptop screen as it booted up, wondering what I was going to do for my personal blog today. I had a few ideas, and so after I logged in, I got on the Internet.

Originally, I logged on my blog in an attempt to begin work on that "promise" I made two days ago. However, as I began typing things out, the willpower to do so practically vanished soon afterwards. Dismayed, I almost gave up - but then I remembered something: I wanted to work on revitalizing my blogging spirit (and in doing so, my writing spirit would be revived as well). I've had enough with dragging my fingers through the keyboard and posting things that I'm ashamed to call "entries."

Of course, when the willpower vanished, it took with it the access keys to my creativity. Or to put it another way: I had no idea what to write. So instead, I decided to look at my blog, hoping I could find something to recall my inspiration. Long story short: I didn't find anything (considering how the majority of the first 57 days of the year composed of those "entries," this isn't surprising).

However, I did find that things on my blog were in severe need of updates. Headers and side notes that were last updated at the 2011/2012 block. Incomplete pages that so desperately yearned to be finished. Lists that were as outdated as the Oscars. So, I set to work on that, figuring that the look of any personal diary is just as important as its contents.

The changes are subtle, but observant readers will be able to catch them. I think I did okay.

Booster Shot

When you're stopped dead in your tracks with a block of some kind, there spawns a very particular moment in time that seems to extend to infinity. Artists and other creative-types know this phenomenon quite well as an "artist's block." While there are many ways for such a block to show up, there are just as many ways to get rid of one. A person who receives such a block may be mentally exhausted from working on his/her art too much, and so taking a break may be a method to counter it. Those who can't seem to get the next part of the page fleshed out may find themselves compelled to complete a part of their work they haven't even started on. Others whose idea wells seemed to have run dry seek alternative sources of inspiration - be it other people or other projects out of their area of expertise.

Then there's a particular kind of artist's block that refuses to budge no matter what. The artist decides to tackle it with guns blazing, but the block becomes harder to budge than Stalingrad in the tail end of 1942. With all options exhausted, the person in question just gives up... and without warning some time later, the block begins to erode away from the sands of time. Very, very few things can last the test of time - and an artist's block? Not one of them.

(Former) Longtime readers of my blog can easily attest to how true the above paragraphs, because for the past two months or so I haven't really posted anything noteworthy. I felt myself stagnating - not just because of my personal situations, but because I lacked the inspiration necessary to compose something worth reading. It was like I was hit with an artist's block that affected more than my creative output - it seemed to damage what little morale I had left.

Time seems to be on my side, however - I can feel the block begin to crumble away. The motivation and creativity that seemed to be impeded are now making their way back to my mind (albeit in a slow, trickling pace). And you know what that means?

Resolutionary

This is the last entry 2012 will see.

from xkcd

While this entry itself isn't impressive... I think something amazing will happen next year.

Frozen Tension

There's a moment in time where one is in waiting for some thing that they consider to be important to them. Depending on the person, it could be anything. The high schooler waits for the acceptance letter from a top college that they applied to, and their heart races the moment something arrives in the mail. The man who just proposed to his girlfriend is waiting for her response (and for some reason, that moment seems to be an eternity away). A famed sports competitor has just finished a performance of their athletic talents and is nervously waiting for the judges' numerical opinions.

With all of the above examples, there comes with it an arrival to the aforementioned "moment in time where one is in waiting" and the palpable tension they go through before the next part happens. That "nervous chill" if you will is a natural response, and it's a near-universal experience for us all.

Today is one of those days where this frozen tension is building up within myself. Just like the above examples, I've arrived and now the wait is starting to get to me. Unlike the others, though... I'm not exactly going through something that could really be considered nerve-wracking. Then again, to each their own - and in my case, the wait for the event is pretty killer.

So, if you feel like waiting alongside me, then keep going.

The Lion Finally Roars

For the longest time I've been stuck in some kind of energy-draining rut. Work seemed like complete and utter shit (and that's before considering fourth quarter traffic). Gaming felt like a grinding task to perform (and that's before considering the leveling I'm putting Gefallen through). Writing - both on my personal blog here and otherwise - became a chore and a nuance rather than a creative outlet for my restless mind. Life (and living, in general) felt like a despicable curse that haunted my very being.

It's easy to pinpoint (and subsequently blame) potential sources of this lethargic malady... but do I really know if they are the origin points? I found myself beginning to turn blue when my camera got lost a while back. It was found a little over a week ago, and while I was ecstatic (my co-workers will report something on the lines of "overjoyed"), my spirit's core wasn't lifted any. When I lost the right to use the phrase "I'm going home," I wanted to cry my small Asian eyes out and wail like crazy. (Nopony knew this; I'm good at façades.) However, this... depressed "condition" of mine... started long before I became homeless. So, if these weren't the sources (although I can honestly say they amplified my "condition"), that left me to ask two things:

1. What's the true source of this malady?
2. Why the frak is it still afflicting me like so? (Or rather: why the frak am I letting it afflict me?)

I don't know the answers, but I'm certain they'll come to me in due time.

I'm going to be frank with you: this post was originally going to end here. As you can see, however, I didn't let it stop. You'll also see that the rest of this entry's overall mood and morale levels are much, much higher than they've been in weeks - nay, months. (PMX 2012 lifted my spirits, but apparently I didn't show it well enough.)

/roar

Let's find out what got me to finally roar like the lion I know I am...

Super 805 Brothers

I don't know what it is or how it came up, but for some strange reason, I feel like being a complete and utter asshole today.

The dry-witted readers out there are probably scoffing in amusement and asking: "But Josh... aren't you always an asshole?" Yes, I am. Ask my friends; they'll probably confirm that with either some kind of joking verbal jab at me or relate some anecdote of a moment where I was truly evil.

And yes - for those of you thinking "What kind of hairbrained fools out there like you, Josh?": I have quite a few moments where I'm sweet as a rose, and when the joking's set aside, most people will say that I'm an all-around nice fellow. (I hope.) I just have my moments where I feel like being a complete jerkass.

I have these moments every once in a while and they're always followed up by some measure of hilarity (or someone who got a kick out of it). They come up randomly and can strike at any time:

• me playing the part of "that asshole on the 101" in someone's commute
• stealthily retaliating against a guest I encounter at work who was being a dick first (laser-guided karma, really)
• taking weeks to respond to somepony on Facebook
• ignoring bastards who try to summon you via methods normally reserved for dogs

...and that's just the tip of the iceberg. So if you value your thin-skinned liver and want nothing more than to hear nice things, then...

If anyone's watched 1000 Ways to Die, then this might bring back a few nightmares...

...there's the door.

Of course, if there's anyone out there who realized how much I'm just playing with everypony here, then please... keep reading!

A Toast to Lives, Old and New

To say that today's entry was going to be a swirling vortex of heartfelt string-plucking and geeky ridiculousness is a complete understatement.

The storyboard says Starbuck flies into this maelstrom as the camera flies head-on into her Viper. That's what you'll be doing as well today - metaphorically speaking, at least.

To say that today's entry is going to be waxing pseudo-philosophy in regards to friendships and gaming... yeah, that sums it up quite nicely, I'd say. Don't take my word for it, though - read on and see for yourself.

Downtime Planning

I can't honestly recall the last time I had a Sunday off that I didn't ask for. (I lied. I recall the last time I had a Sunday off that I didn't ask for. It was over two months ago. *facepalm*) It's rather rare for someone like me to get a weekend day off, and it's made all the more better because I have awesome plans with awesome people (and maybe some ketchup).

However, all that's going down later on today. For now, though, this means that I have some time to kill until then. And what better way to do that than by typing out a much-deserved big entry on here? (Well, I was originally going to play Valkyria Chronicles and maybe some World of Warcraft, but I think my blog deserved some love.) I'm sure y'all are excited over this.

Lieutenant Welkin Gunther knows how to command his squad. I should learn how to command you readers, too. =P

But enough dilly-dally from me - it's time to charge into today's text storm. Squad 7 Readers: move out!

23 Wishes

Today's the day! The sun is shining, and you're going to read all the ridiculous magical awesome things I want for my birthday!

See this face? That's on a wall. This wall will not let you pass unless you get me things. Lots of things. Fun things with sweets and joy... and joyness.

And then you'll get me all of them, right? Riiiiiiiiiight?

The Bridge of Fate: 1000 Words

Today began as a (somewhat) normal day for me: alone in my bed, sweat on my forehead from a nightmare I once thought vanquished, my phone's alarm ready to go off in ten minutes, the daylight trickling through my window, my iPod shuffling through my "Sleepytime" playlist.

I wasn't particularly feeling inspired to do anything yet, because I knew I had to type something big to bridge the first and second halves of 2012 together (much like I did last year). So, I decided I'd go through my "slowly waking up" routine: lurking on the Internet and keeping a window on standby in case I came up with something to type. Now, this process takes about two to three hours, depending on what my plans for the day are and when they kick off. For this particular day today, my confirmed schedule involves work at 1500, with nothing else in hand. So I figured, "two hours ought to be enough."

That was 0800. At the time I began to write this entry out, it was 1127.

Now, usually, when I'm going through this slow wake-up, I'll more often than not have no less than fifteen tabs open on Google Chrome. More often than not, a decent portion of 'em will either be pages on Wikipedia or TV Tropes, two of the Internet's biggest time-sink websites in history. (Not that that's a bad thing...)

Somehow I ended up on the real life section of the "Crowning Moment of Heartwarming" page on TV Tropes. As a known cynic with occasional misanthropist thoughts, I was stunned to see that there are still people willing to help others out there in their own way. Naturally, reading a page like this would stun anyone with any degree of misanthropy, and while I know that for all my sarcasm and jackassedness I'm still a good guy (I hope, because your mileage will vary.), there are moments in life that force me to stand back and wonder why I'm still kind at times. Reading stories like these remind me that the world is worth living in and that people still deserve kindness - even if they do deserve a .50 caliber bullet to the face.

However, that's not the story I'm here to talk to you about. I'm here to tell you about one particular entry I read that shook my very core and reminded me about my past, the present, and the promises I intend to uphold in the future.

And to think it all started with a picture.

Hurdling Questionnaire

It seems almost like a sin for me to work today. Let's face it - when you have a few days off coming up and you've got nothing but relaxation waiting for you, you pretty much shut down and go on autopilot on the last day. That whole waking experience becomes one last hurdle before you get to go off and do fun things you actually want to do.

A (not-so-)accurate readout of the weather from Persona 4. What's funny is that this game technically takes place in the majority of 2011... yet the weather seemed spot-on all week (minus today).

That's what today is for me. Today marks the last day before I go on a much-needed vacation, and working tonight just seems to be an annoying splinter in my side.

So, some of you are asking a few questions. Rather than do something boring like explain myself and my (zany) motives to each and every one of you, I'm going to go ahead and use a "more fun" option: a quick Q&A panel! Let's see how well I can read your minds...

Resolution Confidence

As the halfway point of this month (the 16th) draws ever so closer, it's gotten me to think about some things. Namely, how I did this year in relation to how I did last year - or in other words: did I got any better or did I get worse?

Retail © Norm Feuti

Heh. I already know the answer to that question.

Josh Blanco's Lottery Plan

The age-old question: "What would you do if you won the lottery?"

My response to said age-old question? Read on below.





CURRENT MUSIC:
Barenaked Ladies - "If I Had $1,000,000"
Gordon

Quite fitting for today's entry, if I may say so myself. As one of the most-known songs by the Barenaked Ladies, their silly song on what they'd get with a million dollars is a staple at their live performances.

But what would I do with a million dollars... or more...?



"If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory."
William Hazlitt
(Table Talk: Essays On Men And Manners - "On Great and Little Things")

Hehehehe... that, it does. That, it does. Maybe that's why the ones who achieve the greatest of victories usually have some kind of high-spirited determination. Be it originating from religion or iron will or what have you, it doesn't matter - the fact that they had it in the first place makes them stronger than most others.