Frozen Tension

There's a moment in time where one is in waiting for some thing that they consider to be important to them. Depending on the person, it could be anything. The high schooler waits for the acceptance letter from a top college that they applied to, and their heart races the moment something arrives in the mail. The man who just proposed to his girlfriend is waiting for her response (and for some reason, that moment seems to be an eternity away). A famed sports competitor has just finished a performance of their athletic talents and is nervously waiting for the judges' numerical opinions.

With all of the above examples, there comes with it an arrival to the aforementioned "moment in time where one is in waiting" and the palpable tension they go through before the next part happens. That "nervous chill" if you will is a natural response, and it's a near-universal experience for us all.

Today is one of those days where this frozen tension is building up within myself. Just like the above examples, I've arrived and now the wait is starting to get to me. Unlike the others, though... I'm not exactly going through something that could really be considered nerve-wracking. Then again, to each their own - and in my case, the wait for the event is pretty killer.

So, if you feel like waiting alongside me, then keep going.





CURRENT MUSIC:
Derek Duke - "Angrathar's Shadow"
World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King Soundtrack

Today's entry called for some kind of icy music piece to be featured. Don't get me wrong - I'm in a great mood today, and it's nice and sunny outside (which means that my mood shouldn't be shattered while I can see the sky). The thing is that while I'm in a great demeanor, the feeling of waiting and waiting just... well, it's chilling my core.

While I've used this track once before (albeit in a "bye-bye, happy mood" way), I'm not showcasing it for the weather aspect. I'm using it because Icecrown was a dark, icy pit of undeath - and in a way, so is this "waiting" feeling. I figured I could use it again and have its musical aura play through your ears once more.


Graeme Norgate and Grant Kirkhope - "Disused Military Depot"
GoldenEye 007 Soundtrack

Since I told myself that I was going to type something great today, I needed to dedicate myself to the job. (Of course, we all know how that story goes.) So after a self-issued pep talk, one breakfast burrito (chorizo, in case you're curious), and some vague "demands" from my girlfriend telling me to finish this entry, I battered down the hatches and began my typing session.

Of course, with me being me, I need my music. So I decided to play something I haven't heard in a while: the soundtrack to the Nintendo 64 game GoldenEye 007. It brings fond memories back, and at the same time it's nice music for me to play as I type.

Deathmatch, anyone? =D





Good day, everyone! Today's the tenth day of December 2012 - less than two weeks before the apocalypse-believers start getting heart attacks. Life's pretty grand (y'know, apart from my current situation), and I figured I'd take the time to post something for y'all to read.

Now, let's tarry on back to the topic I was discussing earlier before the break: that feeling of dread one gets when they wait for something important. As I mentioned earlier, I'm currently filled with that emotion (though I'm not sure if "dread" is the right word... "anxiety," maybe?).

For those of you wondering if I'm waiting for something important to happen, then the answer is yes. But what exactly am I waiting for, you ask? Well, I'll warn you right now - it may seem a tad quite ridiculous to you, but it's important to me - and since this is my blog, that's all that matters at this point.

Erfie's not trying to get in the guild - Claytton (my friend's Paladin) is. (RP-wise.)

I'm currently waiting for tomorrow afternoon to arrive - I have an interview with the US-Ravenholdt RP guild "Twilight Empire".

Go ahead and laugh if you need to - I'm sure some of you were still wondering if my dread was stemming from something actually serious. Truth be told, though: it feels serious to me. While I've naturally been nervous about various things in life (ranging from graduations to live performances in front of an audience), this is actually hollowing me out right now.

By this, I mean that weird, hollow feeling that forms in your chest whenever something's inching closer. The sense of dread (still using that word...) carves a temporary hole in your heart and fills it with uneasiness as time slowly crawls forward for you to meet your fate. That feeling - it's in me. Yes, I'm aware that this was a crappy - and possibly silly - explanation, but let's see you do better.

Jitters. Butterflies in your stomach. That queasy feeling you get right before you kill someone for the first time in your life.

...okay, barring the third one, that about sums up what I'm feeling right now as I wait for tomorrow afternoon to arrive.

If there was a waiting room for this whole ordeal, I think I'd have this constant look of fear on my face.

I can hear some of you asking how I could be so nervous about a simple online interview. I can see a select few of you also scoffing at how much of a mountain I'm making this (supposed) molehill look like. "I mean, it's just a game guild you're applying for. What's the worry?" Someone out there is probably asking me this right now, and to most other people reading this entry, you might be thinking this as well.

In this day and age, most guilds in World of Warcraft will just randomly give you invites like candy. Imagine it - you're out and about Azeroth leveling or you're trying to sort things out in your bank when out of nowhere a pop-up appears (complete with fanfare), showcasing someone's desire for you to join their guild. Usually, a pre-scripted message will be whispered to you as well, providing you with a brief synopsis of what the guild is about.

Most of these guilds will be end-game Player vs. Environment guilds or Player vs. Player battlegroups seeking new players to help them defeat the latest raid or the next battleground. The current guild members are loosely-organized, often care more about guild promotions and leveling the guild than player interaction, and usually have a loose set of morals that can easily be changed or broken at will. While there are a few guilds that act like this and are still decent (humanity-wise), there are a vast majority that... well, aren't.

This is why I love World of Warcraft - because we kill things with rainbows.
(That item Grizzbone's using there? The Rainbow Generator.)

Thus, finding the good guilds - the ones that factor other things such as "community," "friendship," and "fun times" into their recruitment - isn't going to be all butterflies and rainbows. You'll have to search hard, and unless you have friends out there who are already in these guilds or have enough charm and/or skill, you'll seldom come across anything.

Which is why the Twilight Empire is quite intriguing for me. Created during US-Ravenholdt's infancy (the Empire was formed in August 2007; US-Ravenholdt first went live in December 2006), the Twilight Empire has stood strong throughout the years as a prominent Alliance role-playing guild. It's said that this is due to their vision, which has withstood the test of time and is still something each of its members hold themselves to each time they play:

"The Twilight Empire will provide a welcoming and supportive community, enhance role-playing opportunities, pursue peace between the factions, and represent itself admirably."

I have some friends who are already in the guild, and they told me that the guild is quite friendly. While roleplay is a primary objective, they also focused on quite a lot of things while still showing restraint in regards to PvP activity. This aspect in particular intrigued me - it was a lot like how I leveled and how I currently play.

Despite being a Rogue, I've never actively pursued and maliciously killed anyone from the Horde. I've let low-level characters do their business, waved at players at or above my level, and just made it obvious that I had no intention to kill or attack them. (This hasn't stopped the other side from showing me the opposite.) I've only killed other players in battlegrounds (because let's face it: we're supposed to do that) or when someone I knew was getting ganked or harassed, and I've only raised my blades at the enemy after they struck me first.

This UN-esque policy of mine seemed to match the PvP policies of the Twilight Empire. But it was only after I began to roleplay with the actual guild members that I began to see what the Empire was all about: a close-knit community; personality; roleplaying; fun.

So naturally, one of my friends told one of the guild officers that I was interested in joining. After that, I found out that there was a two-step procedure for all new initiates: an application phase, and an interview phase that's done in-character.

The interview was rather simple, but I was wronged when the form began asking me some questions that I had to answer in-character. Meaning I had to work on this form using two personas: mine, and the one I developed for my rogue Calvington Fallbrooke. I changed a lot of things since I first developed his character, and with those changes came the honest answers I used to fill out the form.

This was about three weeks ago. Cut to Friday afternoon, where I got to speak with another officer about my application. If you noticed the two week gap, don't worry about me having to wait for a response. I know that life happens, and that's exactly what happened with most of the Empire's senior staff. The officer apologized for the late reply, but I was cool with it - they responded, and that's what matters. So we talked for a bit and we set up the appointment for the interview on Tuesday the 10^th. That's right: tomorrow.

Climbing the snowy peaks of Kun-Lai Summit seemed like an excellent metaphor for tomorrow's interview.

That's what has me a tad quite nervous right now. While I'm certain I'll get in, I'm still hoping I don't mess things up. First impressions are important, after all, and since this is the Internet, I don't think I'd be able to get a do-over.

In the end, though, it all comes down to me and how I perform during the interview process. While I'll have the support and cheers from my friends, only I Gefallen Calvington Fallbrooke will be able to support himself.





Well, we shall see what happens tomorrow. It's highly likely that tomorrow's entry will focus on what happens before, during, and after this interview. Wish me luck - I know I'll be telling Calvington "Good hunting!" before the Q&A starts.

Until the 'morrow, everyone. Thanks for reading!