Three-Zero

Several years after graduating high school, I remember joking with my friends about what we'd be like when we were all 30. Some of us would be married. Some would have kids. One of us would be living on the other side of the country in some secret government job, spying on the rest of us with some crazy espionage gear.

I rememer making a sarcastic quip along the lines of "I won't make it to 30."

This wasn't because of some innate desire to kill myself - nor was it some sort of pessimistic outlook on life. I just thought I'd end up as some worthless washout with no purpose... no meaning.

*laughs* My, how stupid was I back then? At this point, tomorrow is uncharted waters. Although I don't look like it, I'm ready to venture off into the part of the map that says "Here be dragons."

But first, I need to get some sleep.

Rain Awake

I hate insomnia. Every once in a while I just wake up in the middle of the night and no matter how hard I try, I just can't go back to sleep.

It sucks, but sometimes there's nothing I can do but lie there in bed, asking myself why I'm staring at the dimly-lit ceiling in my room when I could be dreaming about the most random things involving the last few hours of conscious thoughts.

Tiny Changes

In lieu of me typing a bunch of things today, I decided to make some much-needed renovations to this site. Considering how dated some of this stuff was on here, I felt that it was quite necessary. (Plus, I was distracted by video games all day - not a bad way to spend my day off.)

Now I can have this blog feel like it's actually with the times as opposed to dating myself (despite some of this stuff being accurate two years ago). I'll just keep working on that, then.

In the meantime, see if you can notice any of the (subtle) changes that I'm making.

A Post to Surpass

It's been a while since I've posted on here. I mean "posted" posted - as in "something that actually took me more than five minutes of thought and staring at a screen. (Meaning that despite those last two posts that came out of nowhere, they don't really count in my mind.)

It's strange... the act of typing on a keyboard almost feels alien to me now. Scary for someone like me - I don't think my past self would've pictured myself with this feeling ten years ago, yet here we are.

An 83% accurate depiction of what my room and I look like.

Let's see if my fingers can adjust themselves back.

Second Head Shake

It's only the second day of the month, and already I feel like I'm lagging on my objectives for November. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so fatigued, or if I'm just rusty at things. I'm going to go with the second - it's been a while since I've done anything substantial anyway.

Of course, I find myself in the ridiculous situation of posting something so lacking (well, lacking to my standards) at a time that isn't to my liking. Then again, this doesn't look like anything out of the ordinary when it comes to... well, those lame excuses of "posts" I put up for most of 2015 and 2016.

Third time's the charm, I think. We'll find out tomorrow.

Late and Unsure

Am I actually here? Am I actually doing this? I'm not sure if I'm ready to do this... if I'm ready to do what the idealistic dreamer in me wants to do. I know that the realistic, fatigued self in me wants to say "no," but...

...but I think I'm going to give it a shot. (Despite me posting so darn late, I'll still go for it.)

Dread Soon

Don't you love that impending feeling of dread you get when you know something you don't want is coming soon?

Soonish

Something's going to happen. I'm not sure what, but I feel it happening.

Fun Ahead

I think there's going to be some fun times coming up ahead.

Sleep It Off

I need to get some rest.