P4 Dissertation Preview

Over the course of the last week I found myself suddenly inspired to write. I wrote and wrote and wrote - and to be honest with you, it feels good. Tiring, yes... but good.

For those of you wondering what I was working on... remember that crazy idea I had for a dissertation back in April or so? Well, after six months of not doing anything about it, I did something about it.

It's what I was working on last week, and I'm proud to say that it's actually going somewhere!

For your entertainment, here's an excerpt from the preface. Enjoy!





Every once in a while there comes a time in a person's life where a question pops up. Depending on what kind of person they are, this question's topic can vary. It can be self-reflective and thought-provoking ("Who had I become? Just another shark in a suit?"); it may be inquisitive and navel-gazing ("Did you ever think that maybe there's more to life than being really, really, really... ridiculously good-looking?"); it could be inane and completely out-of-context ("Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that - if you shoot it - it will blow up?"). Regardless of the question's subject, it will somehow keep them in thought for what seems like ages as they focus upon finding an answer.

I'm the kind of person who seems to have these kinds of moments every other month. I don't know why this happens, but I've learned to embrace these inquiries as mini-journeys in self-discovery. Oftentimes these brain-rattling questions will vary in severity and importance, much like the examples I stated above. However, unlike Jerry Maguire, Derek Zoolander, or Danny Butterman, I crave more than just an answer.

Anyway, the question I most recently had stuck in my head was one I had asked myself before:

Who am I?

I can honestly say I've been asking myself that for the last decade. Ever since I was a teenager in middle school, I sought the answer. I came up with an answer back then (the contents of which escape my memory to this day) and thought myself to be done with this questionnaire. However, over the years I found myself bombarded with the same question. I would run into a line of thought that seemed to make each answer I had prior appear to be false. Since then I've come to many conclusions - all of which carry some measure of truth to them.

I am now twenty-three and am proud (foolish?) enough to say that I have yet to come to a full sense of truth. Why? Well, to answer that, we need to figure out who I am... what defines me... what my place in the world is.

Mind you, I'm not asking "what am I" - answers such as "Josh D. Blanco," "a free-spirited gamer and writer," "a cynical jerkass with a heart of gold," and "romantic lover" answer that line of thought. I'm asking "Who am I?" Who is Josh Blanco? Who does he think he is? Who will he become in life? Who is he now, and who will he become in the future?





"Who will I become" indeed.