Insert Silly Photo Montage Here

Evening, everyone. Wondering why it took me so long to get my butt on here and type stuff? I spent the day going through my computer and cleaning things out. As I did that, I encountered a folder containing a gazillion pictures that I've acquired over the years.

They say that "a picture is worth a thousand words." I sure hope they're right, because I couldn't think of anything to talk about for today's entry. So, without further ado: a bunch of pictures I found while compy-cleaning (some mine, some from the Internets) and a silly commentary-slash-pseudo-story to go along with all of it!

...euhm... ...well, let's retry this! *reloads*

It's a bad sign whenever you see something like this at work. The fact that I actually saw this pop up at one of my store's registers just blew my mind. I mean, you'd have to screw up really bad - and I mean really bad - for something like this to show up.

Either way, I found it to be funny. Now, uhm... let's start over properly. *clears throat*

Much better. See? Look at the photo below! So much of a better start already! =D

What I (wish I) had for lunch.

Thus far in my young and naïve drinking life, the best drink I've enjoyed is a simple gin and tonic (with a bit of lemon). It was one of my favorites when my friends made me one back on my 21^st birthday last year, and it still is.

Because of that statement, some of my friends say that I need to drink more. Sadly, this contradicts my purpose of being their designated driver, so as such I don't get to sample anything. I'm pretty strict with alcohol and driving, because the last thing you want to do is drive drunk...

The date this photo was taken?
August 15, 2007 - the day before my 18th birthday... AND my driver's test.

...and then CRASH like an idiot and get you and/or your passenger(s) killed. We don't want anyone dying like that - especially people we know and like/love/need for financial engagements.

I always wondered if my ATC crash was an omen for the driving test to come, because I failed it due to instructor stupidity. *le sigh* I mean, I was doing fairly okay and then I apparently took a left turn "three miles faster than [I] should have." I mean, Jesus - it's not like I was doing anything stupid...

Found this on Google the other day and just had to have it.
Don't know the original artist or origin (sadly), but God, this is hilarious if you can see the references.

I wasn't screwing around on my driver's test and playing card games having Pokémon battles on motorcycles. God, give me a break!

God didn't give me a break, though - I went in a few weeks later and got another inept instructor who failed me on another ridiculous call.

Me and my car - a 2007 Toyota Yaris.

The third time was the charm. I went to a different DMV office and ended up having an instructor that not only was fair, but realized something I notice with drivers every day: everyone has their own style of driving that is surprisingly safe (even when it doesn't look like it). So I passed, got my license, dressed to impress, and cruised around town triumphantly.

Some people name the things they own. Be it a stuffed toy named [insert silly name here] you had as a child, a man-portable Gatling gun owned by some Russian dude who called it "Sasha," or their first car, people get attached. As I'm the kind of person who names things (I like names), I gave one to my car - it seemed fitting for her (yes, my car's a girl).

My Yaris' name? "Chariselle Olivia-Mystique Midori" (told you my Blood Elf Paladin was named after my car). Where'd these names come from, you ask?

• Chariselle - the charites of Greek mythology
  Toyota got the name of the Yaris from them, too, so I figured I'd put a nod their way.
• Olivia-Mystique - the color of my Yaris
  Officially, the catalog listed the color as "olive mist metallic" - though my friends have shortened it to "puke green."
• Midori - the Japanese word for "green"
  Self-explanatory.

This goes to show two things:

1. I'm awesome with names. You want me to give a name to a clandestine operation or your nextborn child or that Pokémon you just hatched? I'll give you one.
   
2. I think too much. =D

You know that name is awesome. I love it, and Chari loves it, too.





And now, a commercial break!

Extra Ordinary comic #163
Obviously, this ain't mine

SHARKS! They're scary and awesome at the same time, just as Li Chen of Extra Ordinary has proven. Great and cute comic by the way - read it if you got the time. (Yeah, I said "cute.")

Anyway, Space Shark here is living proof that there is reason to fear about going to where no man has gone before.

Found this on the Internet while looking up something on "sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads."
This goes without mention, but while this ain't "sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads," it's AWESOME. And sadly, not mine.

So is this bad boy. And I thought Epicus Maximus was fearsome. If I could, I'd totally recruit this shark to be part of my infantry unit. He's got the attitude of a gruff-yet-kickass leader (I cite the toothed grin and the cigarette) and he's got the firepower to boot (the Vulcan and the missile launcher he's got will surely kill anything that moves).

I know, I know - I talk about Lego stuff too much. If you don't like it, then tough - it's not my fault your imagination matches that of a stegosaurus.

Silliest. Metal Gear / SpongeBob reference. EVER.
Not mine, obviously.

I mean, if you don't have an imagination, you should find a large-enough box, sit in it, and just go all out with your crazy thoughts. It'll be more fun than sitting in the doctor's office waiting to get your foot amputated, I can tell you that much.





And now back to your "crappy" entry for today...

Whenever I'm moving stuff in boxes, you'll know which ones are mine.

In order to make the unpacking process more entertaining for myself, I threw silly role-playing game notes on each one. The ones that have priority (e.g.: electronic toys, wall décor, organizers) get the epic names, while the box of miscellaneous things gets all the silly ones.

As can be seen here, this particular box had a bunch of silly toys in it (because after I spent 50+ hours fiddling around with all of the trinkets inside, I'd then have one box to stuff other things in).

Signs your storage unit will get the job done well: your door has the word "epic" somewhere on it.

And speaking of moving, it's a good idea to scout for a storage unit a good two weeks before the move happens - unless you wanna be like me and procrastinate to until two days before the move. Otherwise you'll spend much-needed time filling out paperwork instead of packing.

The "official" Official Notice of Formal Apologies, as spoken by the Internet.
Print out a few copies and keep them handy...

Feh... paperwork. Always hated it. Never been a real big fan of the stuff. But sometimes, it's fulfilling to do it. You sit there analyzing the... oh, who am I kidding? Nobody likes paperwork! Paperwork doesn't like paperwork!

...because you'll never know when your arch-nemesis will actually need one.
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named realized this.

Hell, even villains don't like paperwork - too time-consuming to look through the recruitment logs and logistics about where certain artifacts and weapons are.

Plus, this was pretty funny when I found it, so now you can see that the form is actually meant for (somewhat) silly apologies.

VG Cats comic #185: "Results May Vary"
One of my favorite comics - this occasionally shows up as a desktop wallpaper.

Of course, some villains need the form more than others, and it's up to them to decide whether or not to use them. We can all guess what this guy's decision was... ...jerk-face. Ain't that the truth?

What the majority of text message convos look like - just replace "weather" with anything.

This here is also truth. If this is not true in your case, then you are a liar. I don't like liars. I don't have time to deal with the bastards.

According to a Pyramid Head: it's always raping time.
Photo snapped by me at the 2009 Pacific Media Expo.

Neither do cosplayers. Good and/or clever ones, at least. Which reminds me... I need to get working on stuff for an outfit. Whoo. Got to figure out what else I could look like... there's a bunch of cool things out there that're pretty cheap...

When I used to play Halo 3 extensively, this is what I looked like.
Scout helmet, Security / Scout shoulders, CQB chestplate.
And people thought full Hayabusa looked badass. *scoffs*

...though I'm pretty damn sure I can't afford SPARTAN-II armor of any kind. Oh, well.

If anything, dressing up as something not related to the Halo franchise would seem to be smart. Most Halo fanboys I've encountered (I've yet to meet a Halo fangirl) typically lacked this awesome word we civilized folk called "intelligence."

A Halo-based demotivational I found on the Interwebs.
Probably one of my favorites out of the several hundred demotivationals I have.

Of course, these fanboys are now in college taking classes that allow them to work at a job where they can spread their ineptness and stupidity. Woo.





But before you get bored: another commercial break! Yippee!

I was switching signs around one night after we closed and I found this.
Uhm... *scratches head*

Are you sick and tired of having to spend your precious pennies on merchandise you supposedly "need?"

A demotivational I made using a snapshot from Hayate no Gotoku.
If you're a fan of almost-surreal, fourth wall-breaking humor, check it out. =P

Tired of questioning why you're "suffering" an injustice dealt by something you can't comprehend?

When I got this combination on my receipt, I was ecstatic. Never before have I gotten "double zero" on a receipt. =D

Do you want to be the "number-one hero" instead of the "ultimate zero?"

The lil' guy's name? Lazarus Michelangelo Huanani Boutanco.
Surprisingly, this wasn't a solo effort - a high school friend of mine joined in the naming.
She and I found the little tyke sunbathing outside our class, and upon seeing it again, we decided to name it. 

Then get a pet!





And back to your demanding list of a scheduled blog...

Found this at work one night. Don't expect me to read it to you - I have problems with it, too.
I see "foob" (food) and what looks like "logre soa" (large soda), but... *tilts head*

I recently came up with a list of things I figured I needed to do sometime relatively soon.

One of my friends at work drew this pic of me. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO epic!!1

One: learn some kind of art. Something that would help me be known as something other than that eccentric guy who works at Target.

Brawl in the Family comic #056: "Guide to Mushrooms"
Insert cheesy Saturday Morning Special theme song here as you read the pic.

Two: inform people about something trivial. Of course, it also had to be important, which is a big contradiction. Like jumbo shrimp, except less delicious.

This was on my car one night as I left work. As confused out as I was, I was also curious - who would leave a note like this on my car windshield?
And yes, I have a gazillion plushies decorating my car. No: no man card for you yet.

Three: figure out the mysteries of life.

Yeah, Link deserved it. Awesome demotivational, by the way. Hehehe.

Four: survive longer than the other guy by any means necessary. Even if it means throwing farm animals at the other guy so that their death makes them more famous than you.

A work friend (who's the shortest one in the store) wrote this for me (the third-shortest).
It's because we're "Team Fun-Size" - which is clearly better than you. And you know it.

Fifth, and most importantly of all: learn to be a happier, better person than I am now.





Well, as I'd love to work on that "list," I can't - aside from having no time, other things call to me.

No idea where I found it, but I'm guessing it was somewhere on the Internet. Right, eyes?

The Internet is currently calling to me, so until the 'morrow, everyone! Hope you enjoyed this silly little show!