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| I've always loved games that let you leave your initials as a record statement for the whole world to see. |
CURRENT MUSIC:
Marty O'Donnell and Michael Salvatori - "Overture"
Halo 3: ODST Original Soundtrack
It seems weird for me to listen to music to a game I've to play. I stopped playing the Halo games right before ODST was released, but that was because my brother's Xbox 360 (an original launch model) finally red-ringed and was no longer responding to the "traditional" methods of recovery. (Nearly five years of service. Impressive lifespan, I have to say.) Despite my not having played the games in ages (I do hop on Halo PC with my friends once in a blue moon), I have this inkling desire to get my own 360 so I can relive those days of alien-slaying.
Alongside that to-do list is a checklist of games to get for the 360. ODST is one of them, mostly because I was interested in the concept of playing as someone who wasn't Master Chief. (I'm pretty sure the raving fanboys of the time thought otherwise.) The campaign consists of the titular Orbital Drop Shock Troopers: special forces soldiers who are deployed (as their motto goes:) "Feet first into Hell" via drop pods launched from orbit. Set in the same time frame as Halo 3, you take control of an ODST known as "The Rookie" dropped in the ruins of New Mombasa, Kenya in search of your fellow (missing) ODSTs.
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| Meet the Rookie. Amazing how a simple image like this can evoke the overall noir feeling of the game. |
Which is ironic when you consider the fact that "Overture" begins with the sounds of a rainstorm and distant thunder claps as a... I want to say a saxophone... plays a brief line of notes. Instantly after hearing this, two words echoed in my head: "film noir." The entire track - nay, the entire album - plays like a (subtly) jazzy noir film, as the composers felt that using the traditional motifs heard on the past three games wouldn't seem right. Makes sense, considering how we're not playing as Master Chief but instead as an average human solider (well, almost average). And as the Rookie investigates just where the hell his squadmates went off to, I shall also look into the rest of this soundtrack.
The Backstory Part
(Because I need to explain why this post didn't show up two days ago. But not really.)
So
Seeing as how I've been working on unlocking things on Mario Kart: Double Dash!! I figured I'd start with that game first. Released on the Nintendo GameCube during November of 2003, it was met with both praise and criticism. While the fast-paced (multiplayer) mayhem common with Mario Kart games was still present and hailed, critics cringed over the repetitive voiceover work and the blandness of the tracks. (UK gaming magazine Edge even accused Double Dash!! of "...not being a racing game anymore.") Despite this, it's still enjoyable and definitely deserves merit when considering a Mario Kart player's career.
So I popped in the game and was ready to look at the tracks when I got a call from one of my co-workers who desperately needed people to come in and cover the floor. (This is common when the staff constantly makes schedule changes without telling anyone or updating the schedule log.) Keep in mind that this was around 1030ish - I was still waking up because I slept in, thinking I had a day off. So after giving it about thirty seconds of thought (my brain was uttering something akin to a flat "what"), I caved and said I'd work for a bit.
After hanging up, I mentally kicked myself, because by doing that I no longer had the entire day as originally planned. I went to work, did the work, and went home at around 1800, ultimately tired and virtually unwilling to write anything. (It was a pain in the ass to come up with last night's entry, to be honest.)
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| This is how I feel whenever I go through my usual Tuesday routine. BORED. |
But as you all know, yesterday I got distracted hard due to me discovering the webcomic Darths & Droids. So much win in that comic - er, I mean, let's keep talking about things!
So today (as in "today" today... for once), I decided to use the last of my food stock at home to cook up a breakfast that should (in theory, at least) keep me sated well into dinnertime. I looked and looked and found the following items:
- chopped onions
- bacon
- eggs
- Italian dressing
- packages of instant ramen
- Tang mix
- Sriracha sauce
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And the picture you saw above was the finished result. Mmm-mmm... artery-clogging goodness! I can tell that not only did I make sure I won't starve 'til nightfall, but I'm pretty sure I shortened my lifespan by about two months. Do I care? Not really - it's ramen. And breakfast. And bacon. Therefore, it's totally worth it.
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| Plus, Spitfire seems to approve. (Image made by "Soapie-Solar" and found on DeviantArt.) |
Before We Double Dash Out
(A subtle explanation on some things.)
While I've raced all sixteen tracks on Double Dash!! before, it's just not good enough to rely on past information. I need to know what it is right now... refresh myself with how the racetrack handles itself... how I handle myself on the course. And I can't let my past ratings make the decisions for me... especially if it's something that (to me) qualifies as serious business.
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| Daisy and Waluigi racing through Dry Dry Desert. Apologies for the crappy shot. |
Rating things now like I did back in my not-so-memorable high school years would be a bad idea. While I could say I was more mentally mature than my classmates, I won't, because that's just a blatant lie. (When I say that I was one of the supreme commanders in an all-out metaphorical almost-war during my Senior year... that's actually true.) As such, I didn't really hold much in high regard other than my friends and what I liked. Also, my tastes applied to the more basic palettes of liking and disliking - i.e.: "That [non-specific noun] was awesome." "(S)he is totally lame." "I don't give a damn about anyone who doesn't like what I like!" Those sorts of trains of thought.
This means that at the time, when the GameCube was still one of the primary forms of multiplayer entertainment, Double Dash!! reigned supreme as the go-to game for sating the desires of Mario Kart players everywhere. As such, we learned to like it for better or worse - and over time, this turned into blind love (especially when the console wars began to make a serious impact on the Internet).
But this is the year 2012! At least five years since then. Much has happened in the gaming world - and with it, more Mario Kart games. Also, my palette has been refined to truly be something close to a jack-of-all... something. Picture an everyman, but instead of dealing with skill sets, we're dealing with interests.
So as such, today was spent analyzing the tracks from the GameCube Mario Kart game. Unfortunately, due to
1.) The reader isn't bogged by one super-ultra-hyper-why-the-frak-am-I-still-reading-this entry topic that may or may not interest them.
Let's face it: nobody reads. If somepony does read, not only does that make them an egghead, but it makes them intelligent. Unfortunately, what a person decides to read often reflects the wisdom and social intelligence (or "intelligence") they receive and portray to others. Since most of the mainstream media is (admittedly,) less-than-stellar, this chains along with the person's mindset, making their brain "less-than-stellar." (This is especially true of Americans.)
Of course, knowledge of the above paragraph can either help or hinder anyone who likes writing - such as myself. On the days when my entries are big and satisfactory in my book, I tend to advertise them on my Facebook. The guest traffic usually rises because of this, but a number of other factors play into the overall total - for instance: what the entry is about; how long it is; whether or not you have time to kill; the time of day I notify people about it.
Now, while a good portion of the people who click the link anyway are (closet) gamers and nerds from all walks of life, not everyone wants to read an amateur writer's excessively long dive into [insert topic here], even if it does involve cool things like Mario Kart. Analyzing a few tracks is okay, but doing 16 all at once? Yeah... NO. I think I'd lose 90% of the people in 10 seconds flat (and as a result become 20% uncooler to them).
So instead we'll do eight. Half as long; half as torturous. Or so the theory goes...
2.) Double Dash!! is not the best of the series out there.
In fact, I consider it to be my second-least favorite of the Mario Kart games (placing under Mario Kart DS but above Mario Kart Super Circuit). But I think the point's been made all too clear now, so let's just go on to reason number three.
3.) It doesn't tax me as much - both physically and mentally.
Now, you're probably asking yourself how writing about video games could be in any way stressful or fatiguing... especially since I'm a gamer.
As stated with the second reason, Double Dash!! is not one of my favorites. Sure, I'll still play it (especially if I'm issued a challenge), but only when I've exhausted all interest in any other games currently in my possession. Otherwise my brain would just smack myself and ask why I wasted the last twenty minutes trying to perfect that one part in that one racetrack.
As for the physical aspect? Despite what most people may think, it's not fatigue that's playing a factor. Well, it is, but not the usual kind. This kind can be traced back to two words: mini-turbo. Veterans of Mario Kart games are probably nodding along in agreement, but as for the rest of you unfamiliar with mini-turbos, allow me to explain.
It's no secret that you were able to drift in the games. Hell, it was often recommended to do so as an intermediate skill. Once mastered, the learning beginner can finally navigate through that hairpin turn without flying off-course or running into the wall.
Now, added to the mix is the perks of the mini-turbo. In the older games, you had to tilt the directional pad or the analog stick left and right repeatedly until your exhaust or drift sparks no longer changed colors. Once that was done, you let go of the drift and watch as your get a short burst of speed. Starting with Mario Kart Wii, it was simplified so that the sparks (along with the mini-turbo's strength) changed colors depending on how long you've been drifting and how hard you're turning into the curve.
The older games and their method of attaining mini-turbos presented a pro technique used in time trials worldwide: the "straight stretch mini-turbo." Given a long enough straightaway and a decent amount of track width, a skilled player could actually max out their spark/exhaust colors and get their mini-turbo while going relatively straight. The resulting performance would cause the racer to look like they were slithering across the straightaway, causing players to call this process "snaking."
If you've played any Nintendo 64 or Nintendo GameCube game that made extensive use of the control stick for an extended period of time, I don't need to tell you that your thumb felt raw after you were done. (To those of you who didn't get any calluses on their left thumbs while playing: either you don't enjoy games or you just don't have the intensity the rest of us do.) Needless to say: for the skilled racers practicing their snaking on Mario Kart 64 or Double Dash!!, possessing this kind of thumb burn was virtually inevitable. As I haven't played anything like that with intensity in years, you can guess what my physical gripe is with this game.
Track Reviews - Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (GCN) (Part 1)
(Part 2 Coming "Soon!")
Anyway, after you
All quotes in italics are from the official Mario Kart: Double Dash!! website.
All game images were taken from various pages from the Super Mario Wiki and edited if possible by me to indicate race direction.
All photographs of my time trials were taken by me and are by no means an indicator of my skill in this game.
All images after this sentence do no possess any alt text. I'm that lazy. Nyeh.
No, seriously - that last statement was true. Don't try to search for any alt text anymore. You'll only hurt yourself.
It's common Mario Kart parlance that whatever racetrack is named after Luigi be something simple to ease the racer into the game. All of them have featured long straightaways and gentle curves - perfect for people to test out newly-acquired karts or bikes for speed and excellent to see how well one can drift. It's a relatively simple formula that's perfect for both amateurs and professionals alike.
Luigi Circuit doesn't stray from this methodology in Double Dash!! The straightaways here are actually merged together to form one "giant" road - which can lead to some interesting head-on collisions should someone be far ahead of or behind the pack. As with most raceways with gentle curves like this, the outer parts have boost pads, but I've seen skilled racers take the inner parts and drift their way past 'em.
Added to the Luigi tracks for this game is a Chain Chomp just waiting to close in on racers who get too close. He guards a narrow shortcut in Grand Prix, but will surprisingly leave you alone in the Time Trials.
It's not a bad track at all. In Grand Prix and Versus modes it'd be hectic having to avoid those traps everyone sets up on the straightaway. I'm just mad about my time - I can definitely do better.
Peach Beach has the subtle shape of your average "B"-shaped racetrack. The only difference is that the humps of the "B" gets hit with the tides every so often. That, and the Cataquacks (which somehow seem to be deadly-accurate in this game if you get too close) who just propel you into the air and make you yell at your increased time (and possible loss of first place).
Going into the wet sand won't slow you down, but if the water gets you, you may find yourself either extremely slowed down... or sunk to the point where Lakitu has to fish you out. Good players may get lucky enough to hit this part of the track when the waterline is receding, so they don't have to worry about using a mushroom boost to get out of there if their timing is off.
It's a decent track - but the fun part is watching a newb take the "shortcut" on the bottom there to that island. Pros avoid it like the plague because it only lengthens the total time. Despite that, I'd say Peach Beach better on Mario Kart Wii, though. The Cataquacks seem to have a lower aggro radius on the Wii (yes, I used an MMORPG term to help describe a racetrack), and the fact that bikes dominate straightaways just helps as well.
I. LOVE. THIS. TRACK. If the game alone isn't enough to make you think of putting the words "silly," "kart racing," and "chaotic" together, then race here and witness the mayhem. (Race with multiple players and you'll definitely see it.) The music will also add to the chaotic atmosphere.
A simple oval track never looked so damn scary for anyone trying to be perfect on this track. It's actually more cramped than you think. Sure, it's wide enough to support the racers, but when everyone starts flinging green shells (and when Bowser decides to chuck the mega-sized Bowser shell), you're bound to run into trouble.
As can be seen here, I've raced here quite a bit. The pros who practiced on Double Dash!! like a religion would hit this track at least once per session to work on their straight-stretch mini-turbos. A good racer can actually squeeze two of them each time they're on the straightaways. (And now you're expecting this track to show up on the Top Ten list, aren't you?)
The worst part is that some players can get at least fifteen seconds faster than this... without hacking.
...Eh. I'm going to be honest with you right now and say that this wasn't one of my favorites. Most desert tracks weren't that great. Barring Kalimari Desert, I tend to stay away from the desert courses.
Most of them have this odd fascination with numerous sand dunes and hostile weather. You're guaranteed to have tornadoes, Pokeys (those cactus-like things), sinkholes, Podobos (the fireballs), or something attack you and the track at any point in time, and this place definitely has that.
To be even more honest, I didn't even really try my best on this course. Sure, those S-portions of the track are fun (drifting FTW), but apart from that and avoiding the large quicksand sinkhole, I wasn't aiming to do any good. (I think I ran into a few of the Pokeys as well...
Mushroom Bridge is the first of two racetracks that seem to pay homage to the classic Toad's Turnpike from Mario Kart 64. A race through traffic - now we can do that in-game instead of doing that and getting ourselves killed (or arrested) in real life! (Weapons optional.)
Plenty of straightaways and curves makes this anyone's game, but to the players who are magically able to use the boost pads on the bridge's arches... how!? Those things are so thin that printing paper's jealous!
After looking at the map, I had to ask a question. Why is there traffic on this bridge? There's no way in or out anywhere! Is there, like, some secret elevator that deposits and withdraws cars on a whim?
It's a decent track to race on - provided you don't get reamed into a car. Grand Prix and Versus modes add in a Mushroom car that chucks mushrooms on the track when you hit it... and a Bob-omb car that (you guessed it) explodes on contact, making this track more interesting for the heavyweight class.
Every Mario Circuit in every Mario Kart game has one thing in common: they reference Mario somehow. From the banners with his name to the many enemies and locations he's done battle or partied at, the courses provide an interesting mix of both challenge and simplicity.
Oh, and one more thing: hairpin turns. The Mario Circuits (at least the older ones) are famous for those. Double Dash!! has two of them, and if you don't drift it right, you'll either crash yourself into the walls or find yourself heading straight for the Chain Chomp on the track. Of course, I don't have that problem. *gloat*
With plenty of curves to drift around and plenty of straightaways to nail your mini-turbos, players will want to come back to this track. I know I would.
Despite my preference for the Flower Princess, I'm not really too privy to this track at all. That changed when they modified it for use as a retro course in Mario Kart 7, but we're talking about the Double Dash!! version right now. And that means that this course didn't really take the cake.
There's more curved sections on this ship than straightaways, but nearly each one will bring you crashing into a wall or tumbling into deep water (there's a pool to watch out for in the beginning).
I think I'll take the Mario Kart 7 version instead, thank you very much.
This last track for today is actually one of the better ones. Like the website said, it does feel like a rally track - what, with all the road humps and crazy jumps and what not. (Oh, and the fire rings. Mustn't forget about the fire rings. It's probably a requirement for monster truck rallies to have those.)
For a Flower Cup track it's surprisingly difficult. In Grand Prix and Versus, a Banana or Fake Item Box left at just the right spot can cause you to lose precious time off a jump. Plus, that nasty S-turn before the big jump at the end still manages to sneak up on me and slow me down at times. I don't know if it's because I'm out of practice for the day or I just somehow suck there, but I've learned to start drifting long before I hit the first curve.
This is one of the better places to race at, both in Double Dash!! and on the Nintendo Wii. (Especially on the Wii - since the invention of tricks, this track became, like, 20% cooler.) So, if you're challenging me on the GameCube and I get to pick the courses, you can definitely expect this to be selected at some point in time.
So yeah. That's the Mushroom and Flower Cups for you. The next time I do this sort of thing, expect the Star and Special Cups to be featured!
Well, that about wraps it up for today. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I'll see y'all later. Until the 'morrow, everypony!
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