Insight on the White Knight

I suppose I owe it to the readers out there (yes, they exist) to post something decent.
And by "decent" I mean "something that provides a little bit more insight into my world and isn't one of those 'i r sick lolz' posts I've been doing for the past week-and-a-half."

Also, it's always nice to post something big like this every once in a while. Most times I end up with a bunch to say and I end up not posting due to a combination of apathy and lethargy.

Not today! I told myself I'd be posting a bunch on here today, and I intend on seeing that through to the end.



CURRENT MUSIC:
Incubus - "Drive"
Make Yourself

I often cite Incubus as one of the bands that got me into loving music.
Back when I was just becoming a teenager, all I listened to was techno and video game music.
While that was great (I got to dance, and I got exposed to cinematic-esque sound), I don't think that would've been great for me to just listen to only techno and video game music.

So when I was over at a cousin's house one day I turned on their XBox and popped in Counter-Strike.
As I fought online against other players and random bots (de_aztec was my map back in those days), I recalled hearing Incubus' A Crow Left of the Murder playing through.

At first I was complaining how the music detracted from my concentration of carnage (yeah, that was a lie), but I got used to it and eventually came to like them.
So I looked up their discography and got a copy of it.

As I typed up today's blog, I had WinAmp blaring (like always) and it shuffled its way to "Drive," which can probably be considered as their most well-known song. Inspirational and mellow-sounding, it did its job as one of those songs that helped the words flow out of my fingertips.




"What if everything that you see is more than what you see - the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway - and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things."
          - Shigeru Miyamoto


In case the name is unfamiliar to you, Miyamoto is a famed video game developer and producer from Nintendo, responsible for creating famed franchises such as the Mario and Zelda games (among many others). If you required that history lesson, please go ahead and measure the rock you live under. I think it might surpass mine...

Anyway, I've always liked this quote. First mentioned in a Nintendo power, I remember seeing this statement on the back of my Nintendo GameCube box, and it always reminded me that video games always entranced me. Sure, they're fun and everything - but at the same time, it expanded upon my imagination and became a gateway to freedom and peace.
I opened the doorways that video games have provided me, and each time I did I was greeted with something new and exciting that I just couldn't believe. So much to revel at... and so much for my mind to expand on.





So, here's that blog I promised you all. Something meaty and juicy (or if you're vegetarian... something similar to that) for your minds to sink their teeth into as you read text on an online blog.

As I've slowly gained a small following (mostly consisting of people stalking me for various reasons), I've been asked a few questions in regards to this online chronicle.





What's with the title of this blog? "The White Knight Chronicles?" Really?

Firstly, a few people questioned the meaning behind the title "The White Knight Chronicles."
Some speculated that it was a direct reference to the PlayStation 3 game White Knight Chronicles that came out a little over a year ago.
Subconsciously I know I probably heard of it a few times before the start of 2011, but it never crossed my mind (it didn't seem that interesting to me, personally - and from what I've been told it's a somewhat lukewarm game).

I'll assure you right now: it's not. It was a pure coincidence that I chose my title as it is. Rather, it's a reference to myself.

(Author's Note: The following few paragraphs are my direct words and are based on what I've heard from others. As such, I'll leave it to you to determine what is truth and what is spurred-up legend from an exaggerated point-of-view.)

While I've never considered myself a saint (thank you, low self-esteem), many others have expressed their views of me as somewhat of a nice person.
A good number of people have told me I'm a genuinely good guy - big-hearted and selfless, always putting others' happiness before my own, that sort of thing.
If they're telling me this directly, I'll often rebuke their compliment with an off-hand remark about these positive characteristics being more of a curse (read: "Maybe I'm too kind...").
They counter back with a rebuttal of their own, and we laugh about it all and go on our merry lives.

As optimistic as I've been sounding all year thus far, I have to agree with my cynical side. While kindness can beget kindness, I've rarely seen it do so for me (or if it has, I've been waaaay too blind to see it).

Anyway, we're getting off-topic.

When I was coming up with a name for this blog, I thought to myself that maybe... just maybe... those people were actually speaking the truth and not just spouting crazy-talk.
Since I also wanted to stay more upbeat about things, I figured that I might as well try to interweave that whole "I'm really a nice guy" thing into the title.

So I asked myself, "What epitomizes these supposed qualities I possess?"
After about two seconds of deliberation, the first answer that popped into my mind was the term "knight."

Now, when I say "knight," I don't mean it by the archaic definition - the man clad in metallic armor who fought the medieval forces of evil and saved the damsel-in-distress.
I meant it by what the knight represented - the noble actions they performed, their virtuousness and dedication to the protection of the innocent, their benevolence that outshone the darkness that tried in vain to corrupt them.

To me, that's what a knight was - honorable and chivalrous. And while it still sounded like the archaic sword-and-shield definition, it possessed a modern, almost-extinct power that I've rarely seen in these dark days.
And that's when I decided to use the knight as a symbol.

But "knight" sounded plain to me - as a writer, I wanted to give it a bit of flair by throwing in an adjective.
Of course, what to use? I could use a powerful word, but how many would understand its meaning without the notion of self-righteousness rearing up?
So I settled on using a color as an adjective.

My first instinct was to go with "black," but I stopped myself. Despite how cool-sounding "black knight" was, I had to admit it was cliché.
That, and like I said before, I wanted to sound more positive.
Black has long signified negativity and despair, and while I felt as though I epitomized those things (I still think like that once in a while), I said "enough" to that.
Of course, there have been positive characters in fiction that sported the "black knight" motif, but those were few and far between (not to mention that I didn't think I could pull off that look well).

Then my second choice came up: red (or any variant thereof).
I figured that since I've had a wounded past, it would fit perfectly, but then I realized that using red or any variant of red was cliché as well.

I had to admit, though... crimson sounded nice. I associate crimson with the color of dried blood. Metaphorically for me, it meant that there were wounds before that hurt me a great deal, but it also meant that they were survivable and therefore necessary to build myself up to what I am now.

Then my third and final option came up: white.
White has long signified purity and innocence, and while I've long since traversed that path (sin and corruption did have the more entertaining road), I've always believed that a part of me - despite all the hardship and pain I've gone through - still possessed its cleanliness and virtue, no matter how tarnished I thought I was.

Yeah, I know - white's a cliché, and "white knight" is an even bigger one - but I wanted to look up and see a better future, and I figured that being a white knight would help me out, no matter how overplayed it was.

If anything, though, I can see an interesting metaphor here.
The "white knight" has always been seen as pure and noble, with no corruption in their hearts.
Obviously, I've fallen from grace (or so I tell myself), and I can't really label myself as a white knight.
But the essence I've carried with me always seemed like a black knight with a white heart... a darkened soul seeking redemption.

I'm going to go ahead and stop myself here. Any more exposition and I think I'm going to look like some overzealous religion nut - what, with all the "fall from grace" and "redemption" metaphors I've been using.

TL;DR: This is called "The White Knight Chronicles" because I wanted to tell my story - the one of a truth-seeking 21-year-old wanting to better himself and recording this journey in blog-format.
(P.S.: If you scrolled down and skipped that explanation and only read this, then congratulations: you're a jackass.)

But yeah; I'm hoping that got a little insight for all of you as to why I call this blog what I call it.





Why are you even doing this blog? You do realize nobody reads blogs anymore, right?

Well, I have to say that despite the diminished popularity of blogs, there are still people who enjoy this stuff.
I happen to enjoy writing, and some of my friends like reading things that chronicle their friends' lives.
Win-win.

Of course, in case people decided to jump on this boat without knowing its destination, here's my reasons for writing this blog:

1.) My "365 Days... 365 Blogs" project.
I have a goal for 2011: post one entry on each day of the year. Counting today's blog, I'm one for one. *thumbs up*

2.) Because I can.
Enough said.

3.) I know that even after completing "365 Days... 365 Blogs," I'll be writing in this still. 
I missed posting blogs, and I know people like reading this stuff.
They will read this for whatever reason they choose (ranging from "I'm really bored at work" to "Josh's life really does interest me; let's stalk him on the Internet!").
And since Blogger lets me make it so that I can make this public to the world (which may not be a good thing, but eh), that means anyone can read and comment on it. Which means people don't have to sign up for a Facebook or MySpace or whatever exists these days whenever I post on those social networking sites.

And that is why I post on here.





What the hell, Josh!? You said you'd be writing down what you did on each day! Take a look at <insert day here>; that's not telling me what happened to you on that day!

Oh, geez. I said I'd be posting on here once a day; not telling you every single excruciating detail of my seemingly mundane life.

Besides, in case you haven't noticed, most blogs don't even do that. They're just there for someone to vent their concerns about to random strangers on the Internet, and sometimes they don't even do that.
If anything, I say that each post I make here provides a bit of insight and commentary on my life and my spirit, and I think you should be happy that I'm being this open with you.





You do realize that your future ex-girlfriend will laugh at you for this blog, right?

I honestly only recall one person asking me this, but for their sake, I'll answer their question with a question of my own.

...what do you mean, "ex-girlfriend?" That's a mean thing to say, don't you think? =P





Hopefully, that little "questionnaire" has sated your thirst for knowledge pertaining to me.
And now I bid you all farewell until the 'morrow.