The Official "Hate List" of Josh D. "Whitey" Blanco - The Expanded Summaries

So yesterday I posted my official hate list, comprised of the things I hate most in the world (and the French).
While there's a decent amount of humor and logic in this list, what I say here is all truth.

Anyway, I noted that while I posted the list yesterday, I lacked the time to post my reasons why each item's on the list.
And since it's Monday, I have a bit more time to write stuff down... which means an expanded summary as to why each thing is on the list!





The Official "Hate List" of Josh D. "Whitey" Blanco
(Last Update Code: 201103061337)



1.) Anyone Who Has Emotionally Fucked Me Over
This has always been at the top of my hate list for obvious reasons.
I mean, getting wrenched and screwed over to the point where you think you'd never recover... ugh.
Of course, there's a sub-list for this "Hate List" entry, but it's on a high security clearance.
Like, "secret" classified.
(Although I'm pretty sure that the list is pretty well-known in more public channels. *rolls eyes*)

2.) Being Called "Joshua" or ANY Pet Name Derivative
Oh, this one drives me nuts.
Sure, "Joshua" is my legal name, but I HATE it. And I mean that.
If you want to sour my mood, all you have to do is call me... that name... or any pet name derived from... that name.
Oh, some of you might recall that I said that about three people have clearance to ignore this part of the "Hate List."
To have earned that right, people need...
...oh, I can't declassify that information yet.


3.) Singles' Awareness Day
Otherwise known as February 14: Valentine's Day.
While I may vie for reasons related to corporate crap or romantic issues, the issue's relatively unknown.
Okay, I lied - the info's out there.
It's been on my blog here before, and whenever people ask about my hatred for Singles' Awareness Day, I usually tell 'em.
So either scroll back on my past entries, or ask me in person.

4.) Christmas & New Year's
I usually cite the same reasons for hating Singles' Awareness Day when I cite the reasons why I hate these two holidays.
There's a bit more behind it, though, and it's still classified.


5.) Justin Bieber
ENOUGH SAID. Honestly, whenever I have to work on reshop at work and am forced to handle anything related to that snot-nosed punk, I have this compulsory urge to douse my hands in disinfectant. *shudders*
(Watch: since I've made public, anonymous commenting possible on this blog, I'm going to start getting threatening message from rabid and unintelligent fangirls.)

6.) People Lacking Grammar and/or Spelling Skills
As an English major (or hopeful one), I find it rather annoying whenever I encounter typos or incorrect punctuation usage.
Honestly, I think I suffer from a conniption and die a little whenever I see one because I have to fight the urge to go all grammar/spelling Nazi on whoever created the error.
(And yes, I know I'm not perfect, either, but... it drives me nuts when I see how ineffective our education system's becoming...)

7.) The Twilight Franchise
While I respect how Stephenie Meyer decided to write a series of stories, get her work out to the world and become famous, I do not respect the aftermath of it.
I mean, between the horribly-directed movies (the filming minor in me wants to puke every time I encounter a copy of any Twilight movie at work) and the depraved, intelligence-lacking fangirls (and sadly, fanboys - I know they exist out there) who longingly vie for whatever team of idiocy they crave more... I don't know whether to go on a vigilante crusade and eliminate them, or isolate them all and nuke them to oblivion when I take over the world.

8.) The Star Wars Prequels
When I was young and stupid, I loved when the prequels came out - I wanted to see the story of Anakin Skywalker and how he became the James Earl Jones-voiced badass we all know as Darth Vader.
We all got that - in a horribly-scripted form that makes those amateur video game parody videos that 15- and 16-year-olds make out of boredom look GOOD.
Honestly, George Lucas should've just stuck with the original three (for you Star Wars newbs out there: it's A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi), kept their awesomeness, and transitioned that into the prequels WITHOUT killing the inner children of the film critics or the people who grew up with the original trilogy (read: anyone ten or older at the release of The Phantom Menace).
Now, if you're going to fight me on this issue (sadly, I know a few uneducated people who probably would), I will refer to you the Star Wars Plinkett Reviews on Red Letter Media.
If you can stomach the dark humor and the lengthy time (each one clocks in on at least an hour), you'll see what I mean - his points are concise and will shame you into wondering "How could I ever consider Empire to be the worst one?"

9.) The French
The only reason why they're here is because I had to insert an obvious joke here.
I totally respect France and everything, but come on - America loves to make fun of France and its constant defeat rate when it comes to the history of French warfare.
Of course, when I recite the "Hate List," I usually make my tone sound as if I'm dead serious, so to counter that, I have a sub-list attached to this, consisting of the exceptions of my French "hatred" and what not:
- Alizée Jacotey
- the GIGN (France's special operations counter-terrorism unit)
- anyone involved with FIDE (the international chess federation)
- the FAMAS assault rifle (and by extension: anyone involved with its development)
- French wine (some meals are incomplete without the stuff)

10.) The Cadillac Escalade
Honestly, whenever I see this "luxury" SUV on the road, I have this urge to make their lives a living hell.
To those of you who own an SUV: you know how once in a while there's that jackass in a compact car who decides to go at the speed limit and block your way around, forcing you to attempt to overtake them only to realize they were being slow on purpose and decided to accelerate so that they're going slightly faster than you, making you pull up behind them again and tailgate 'em?
*smiles evilly* That's me. Learn to use a vehicle that doesn't make you look like a pompous jackass, and - more importantly - LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.
Honestly, between your constant lane-swerving in busy traffic without signalling, your lack of ability to park properly (I see your damn vehicles double-parked ALL THE TIME), your inability to realize that SUVs are not compact vehicles, and your impression that since you have a giant piece of soon-to-be scrap metal it's totally safer for me to be a jerk and ignore the rules of the road... I... I hate you.
(Of course, I don't do this to every SUV, but heaven forbid if I encounter you in an Escalade... I WILL make your driving experience a living hell, and if I know you... I WILL DISOWN YOU.)





Aaaaaaaaaaaaand there you go... an insight into an insight into my life.
Until the 'morrow, everyone.