CURRENT MUSIC:
Nobuo Uematsu - "Fragments of Memories"
Final Fantasy VIII Original Soundtrack
Part of me wanted to just sleep all day. I think it has to do with the fact that this was on for a bit of time while I stared at this screen asking myself, "What to type?"
Anyway, it's a nice and peaceful track, perfect for relaxation and recovery. Just close your eyes and listen along... you'll find yourself... nodding... your...self... to... *ZZZ*
"It seems to me that the problem with diaries - and the reason that most of them are so boring - is that every day we vacillate between examining our hangnails and speculating on cosmic order."
- Ann Beattie
(Picturing Will)
This brings up a major point that can be used to argue why blogs aren't popular like most people (such as myself) would hope them to be. On one hand, I'll be inspired to write something involving a researched and collected view on topics like love, information control, and politics. The next day I end up ranting about something inane and trivial, like my discovery of Five Guys or the announcement of an archive nobody will ever want to access. Between the things we writers write that people want to read and the things we write that just seem almost unnecessary, we'll write. It's up to our viewers whether or not they want to read, much like it's your choice whether or not you want to continue reading on for this entry.
Evening again, everyone. I know, I know - another late-night entry. To think I was doing well with the afternoon-timed ones... what's with me lately? Don't ask that - I'm asking myself that question, too.
Well, let's get started - need to make 1,000 somehow, and considering that the pre-blog things don't count (as mentioned before), I got a lot of work ahead of me. Let's do this.
Monotony
(Because "stagnant" was already used.)
Once again I come to a night where I have no idea what to throw on this blog. Between a losing battle spent staring at my laptop screen and a planned day that got botched due to a sudden financial crisis, I don't know what to talk about that would keep you interested and help me meet my quota for today.
I spent another day at home. What's weird about it is that while I'm physically relaxed, my mind felt as if this was completely... stagnant. Part of my day was spent mindlessly shuffling through DVDs I owned and swapping the movies out the moment I got bored with it (which happened often - I don't think anything lasted more than a half-hour...). Another part was spent going through my computer like I did yesterday in an attempt to clean out anything unnecessary. A third part was spent rolling through my bank accounts, figuring out what in the world happened that got me in a mess I shouldn't be in. And unsurprisingly, the last part of this monotonous time was spent staring at the blog entry composition screen for... oh, I don't know... maybe an hour?
Now, don't get me started in theorizing that doing this "1,000 words per day in September" challenge was a bad idea to accept. No, I actually welcomed it back in the tail end of August when I came up with it. It provides a challenge (which, in turn, makes life a lot more interesting) and it also helps me work on various things.
It was supposed to be an exercise in creativity expansion and a way to make my mind and life feel less stagnant. Now it just feels like I'm just tossing random words into the wind, seeing how they land, and shucking it onto this blog just to say I met my deadline. In a way, it's almost like those entries we all hate from me - the "less-than-one-hundred-words entries that kill me just a tad every time I see them" kind I've been infamous for.
That's what September is for - a permanent break in monotony... a rigorous "training seminar" of sorts that will (hopefully) break this whole "rut" I'm in. While it's worked in getting me to write, it's not for the reasons I wanted to. So now, my question is: "If this isn't getting me out of this slump, what will?"
Sometimes, though, I wonder... what if I'm just in this slump because I want to be in this slump? (Gee, doesn't this sound like me every time I'm left alone to let my thoughts fester?) It sounds weird and convoluted, I know, but it makes sense in a way. There are some out there who have friends that describe them as "happy being miserable" - that is, they're not happy unless they're in a situation that gets them depressed. Sounds like a heavy juxtaposition, but there is some truth to it.
While I'm not as pessimistic as I once was (do not mistake that with me saying "not pessimistic" - there's a world of difference), I still find myself being drawn to events and things that just bring me and my energy down in some way. Emotional magnetism? Psychological conditioning? The pessimism still acting up? I'm not sure at all. Something's up - I thought I got to the bottom of it before, but apparently, I was wrong. (This would be the part where I'd throw links all over the place, but I couldn't find a single post that would match - then again, there's lots of 'em.)
But enough from me sounding somewhat distraught. It's not a good look for me.
Debriefing: The Lego (Photo) Op
(Because I'd
Remember how I went out on that Lego photo op back on Tuesday?
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| East Coast gets the sunrise... West Coast gets the sunset. I think we win. |
And yes, I feel like a complete dork for showing you these. Do I care? Nah - Legos are fun! =D
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| ME! Because I look epic! And like an angry Asian. Which I am. |
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| My old Lego self in a blue power suit and a customized rifle. IMO, not as epic as an M1 Garand. |
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| "Hi; can I help you find something?" |
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| I say this is an awesome minifig outfit. Holster, necklace, M1 Carbine, and the long hair that I so desperately need to cut? It all fits me quite well. Now to actually obtain an M1 Carbine... |
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| I say that this looks more epic than the previous photo, but I'll leave you to decide on which one looks better. |
Narcissism aside, I wasn't there just to get me new wallpapers and a Lego-ized profile picture for my Facebook. I wanted to get some pics of some of the characters from those stories I wrote earlier this month.
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| Soldiers from Delta Co., 11th Infantry Regiment, Second Army Division posing with the Second Princess and her Knight. |
BACK ROW (Standing, Left to Right):
- Sub-Corporal Eion D. Webster
- Sergeant Rainey E. Munzi
- Knight Sub-Lieutenant Patricia G. Kurz
- Private Roger A. Peyton
- Princess Allisenna G. Novelli, Second Princess of Serecles
This photo was (story-wise, at least) taken by the sixth person, Jeff Alexander. Now you see why he wasn't included in the shot.
This makes me wonder where I'll end up going with this story. I have a few of the characters, and I have the props to act out what I want to happen... but what do I want to happen? Only time will tell.
If you have any ideas, lemme know - I'm interested to see what comes my way.
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| Staring off into the distance = EPIC SHOT (at least in my photography book) (It's also a cliché shot, but hey - it's still cool.) |
Until the 'morrow, everyone!
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