Get Away, Dammit

I have this weird thing about personal space and boundaries. Okay, maybe it's not really weird and more along the lines of "Goddammit, people; get away from me while I'm working on things by myself!" syndrome. I seem to have it in spades - particularly when I'm actually focused on working on a project.

Take the other day, for instance. I'm sitting in the library working on some projects and typing up some things - obviously minding my own business. Out of nowhere, two women show up and decide to take the table next to mine. Afterwards, they begin talking and yakking and doing things that just upset the once-calm demeanor that was in my mind.

My first reaction? An internal "WHY!?" just goes off in my head and my anger levels for some reason rise. Why'd you have to sit next to me, goddammit!? I like my space where no one was around! I can pretend to be an isolationist in some secret lair, known only to librarians and forest trolls alike.

I understand - it's a library, and you need to find space to do whatever it is you're doing. Maybe you can't find anywhere else that's free but near me. Perhaps you're looking at a specific set of books or discs, and it just so happens to be located near where I'm perched. But by coming near me, you've raised awareness that someone you don't know is next to you, and that someone just happens to have a pretty big personal bubble when it comes to working on things on his laptop and other papers.

And once that bubble's been violated, I can't concentrate until the perimeter has been cleared out and the sanctity of my solitude has been re-established. So what do I do? I'll be honest with you: I become a passive-aggressive asshole and drive them away with a very particular set of skills. Skills like throwing leering death glares at 'em when they look my way. Skills like repeatedly and casually tossing my electronic devices on the table when I'm done using them (getting numerous texts from my girlfriend Wendy helps with this - thanks, hon'). Skills like typing fast and furiously on my laptop, which will drive anyone without headphones insane within ten minutes. I've got other skills, but these three seem to be the fastest and most effective means of driving people out of my personal workspace bubble.

In the semi-uncommon event that this doesn't drive them away, I just intensify the actions and keep going until they've had enough and attempt to stop me. My reaction? A death glare that says "Back off, you shit," followed by me continuing my passive-aggressiveness. If they have the gall to make a second attempt, I just ignore them. Eventually, they'll slink away, give up, and move camp somewhere else. (Once, though, instead of the death glare, I pretended to not speak English. The lady in question then proceeded to utter a racial epithet under her breath - "fucking chink," I think it was - to which I replied to her in perfect English to move her racist ass somewhere else. Needless to say I won that one.)

But three times out of ten, the people being driven away are the people like me - people hunting for a quiet and secluded place to work in peace. While I'm all for being a good and random stranger who won't bug you, the fact of the matter is that I FOUND THIS ISOLATED SPACE FIRST, DAMMIT. Get away; find your own frakking spot; stop moving my shit around the power outlets; get out, get out, GET OUT! *angry sigh* The other seven of ten? I'm Smelly bastards, chatty Cathys who just don't know the meaning of "being quiet" in a library, whelps (those little shits don't deserve to be called "children"), those assholes snoops who constantly keep looking at whatever it is I'm doing, anyone who decides to go all Nazi Germany and invade Poland my table when there's at least ten others around my spot, those idiots who keep making "noise" (I'm pretty sure it's laughter, but laughter sounds stupid when it's suppressed), and most importantly, everyone in the goddamn world I didn't ask to meet me in a library.

So, with all this ranting, that just begs one obvious question to be asked: why don't I just work somewhere else where I'm not likely to get bugged? Well, the problem with that is that there is no area where I can be alone and have decent access to electricity and the Internet. Home doesn't cut it, because sometimes you get too comfortable with it and end up getting sidetracked by something else that has nothing to do with what you wanted to work on. I don't have an office, and public places just lack everything I need to work. The library's my only real choice, and yet I'm plagued by confined space due to encroaching jerkwards who think it's just okay to sit next to me.

IT IS NOT OKAY TO SIT NEXT TO ME AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT. GO FIND YOUR OWN FRAKKING PLACE TO SIT AND CONDUCT YOUR SHENANIGANS.

*angry pant*

Yeah, I know - I sound like a horrible jerkass. You'd be right. *laughs*



Seriously, the moral (and TL;DR) of today's entry is this: don't touch me or my bubble.