Saturmonday

Well, lookie what we got here, reader of mine, it's the same in every town - readers with shriveled minds, bored looks, and not a drop of laughter to be found!

Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair. (That the key that they need to solve this sad laughter shortage you and I will shaaaaaaaaaaaare!)

"Folks, it's the one and only, the biggest and the best!"

Yeah, that wasn't a flimflam introduction at all.





CURRENT MUSIC:
Samuel Vincent, Scott McNeill, and Tabitha St. Germain - "The Flim Flam Brothers"
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic S2E15: "The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000"

I suppose by now you're wondering 'bout my peculiar mode of writing!
(I say, my mode of recitaaaaaaaation!)
And I suppose by now you're wondering: "Where is this promised entry?"
Any dude can make a claim and anypony can do the same, but my inspiration has something most unique and superb, unseen at any time in this big new world!
And thaaaat's opportuniiiiiiiiiity!

*clears throat*

Anyway, "The Flim Flam Brothers" has been a song that's stuck in my head for some time now - probably because it's one of the longest songs used in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Sung near the beginning of the episode, the brothers drive into Ponyville right after Sweet Apple Acres runs out of cider. Quickly starting their introduction with this song, the crowd slowly switches from a doubtful opinion to one of (conned) approval. Featuring fast-talking vocals and unicorns with straw boaters, it seems highly reminiscent of the styles of songs a barbershop quartet would sing - and I for one find that highly enjoyable. It also helps that the song carries a good amount of similarities to the musical The Music Man.

Singing aside, this song has proven to be a bit of a challenge for me to memorize. Why I want to memorize it, I don't know. Since I speak fast naturally, I think I'd be somewhat capable of pulling this off, but Flim just speaks/sings so damn much. It's hurting my brain to try to learn the lyrics! But it doesn't matter - I like the song, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I play it enough for me to subconsciously learn it.





Well, 'allo there, dear reader! Welcome to today's edition of The White Knight Chronicles, where I promise you I won't break out in song like I did earlier on this entry. (WHY IS THAT SONG SUCH A GOOD EARWORM *agonized scream*) I'm sure you're reading this because I advertised it on Facebook rather than you being such a loyal person to read my stuff (because who reads about the lives of other not-so-important people?).

If not, however, then I thank you for your (continued) patronage with this totally awesome song I totally didn't sing! (And now I laugh at you for no reason other than because I can.)

A-Anyway, let's just get on to the story I wanted to talk to you about today! It's totally not boring!





So, life out here is pretty boring in this part of the 805. (And by this, I mean Camarillo.) While most people usually state that there is nothing to do in this town, I usually take it a bit further and give a list of suggestions people can do to kill boredom out here:

1. Get drunk.
2. Get high.
3. #1 and #2. At the same time.
4. Target. (Shopping optional.)
5. Go out of city bounds and do other stuff. (Friends optional but totally preferred.)
6. Party! (This usually overlaps with #3 - and sometimes #5.)

Sadly, I'm not kidding about this - it really is that crappy when it comes to entertainment. (If the 805's entertainment value was comparable to the human body, Camarillo would be a smelly jock's armpit - and that's on a good day.)

So I had the day off yesterday, and as you (supposedly) read, I was busy doing some data transferring on my laptop and external hard drives. While I could have easily left the whole shebang, let it run its course, and then go out to do things with people, I couldn't, because half the people I contacted were either busy or didn't answer their phones. The other half? I didn't bother calling - it was mid-afternoon at the time and pretty much everyone has some kind of plan locked down for the rest of the day.

inb4: The photo's blurry. It was intentionally taken that way.

So that left me home alone with nothing going on. On a Monday, which I usually treat as my Saturday. (Who stays home on a Saturday, amirite!?) We need to combine this into a word - and that word shall be *deep announcer voice with echo effects* "Saturmonday." I didn't have the urge to play any video games (*jarring cord*), and I didn't feel like typing up anything (*second jarring chord*). So what was I to do? Well, it took me a while to come up with an idea, because somewhere along those lines I decided to kill time with the two methods that work the best: TV Tropes and Wikipedia!

Some time later in the afternoon, it was morning, and as I looked at how well the process was going for all the data transfers, it dawned on me that I really needed to do something. So after briefly logging in to World of Warcraft to see if my account was truly secure (Still is! Thank you, authenticator!), I decided to grab my keys, hop in my car, and look for something to do.

What it sort-of looked like while driving southbound on the 101 yesterday.

This... was probably both a good and bad idea at the time. See, my brain has this tendency to sometimes go on a kind of autopilot whenever I'm behind the wheel. For those of you who've ridden in a car with me as the driver, fear not - this autopilot never triggers when you're with me. The following three conditions have to be met for autopilot to slowly engage itself:

1. I'm driving alone and are not part of a convoy.
2. There's a decent amount of gasoline in the tank. (Usually around 50+%.)
3. I'm suffering from boredom and aren't currently fatigued.

The music will either be stuck on the same track on purpose or will play the entire playlist bar none (which, when you consider how bad my musical ADD is, is quite a major feat). My reaction time stays alert and ready as ever, but my consciousness to the other things around the world around me is limited - by that I mean I will only react to outside stimuli (read: other drivers) if they do something stupid, like cut me off. And the weirdest part of all is that I don't recall any of the time spent driving. It could be an hour, or it could be ten minutes, or it could be any time that exists at all.

The fun thing about this is that sometimes, I intentionally trigger this autopilot effect. Reason being that each time I do, I end up someplace else that I wasn't really expecting... but my subconscious side did. It's like an adventure to crazy, somewhat-unknown, far-off places! (And Los Angeles) It's never left me bored, but it has caused me to raise some questions about the places I've been thrown at.

Surprisingly, this was a lot cheaper than expected.

Anyway, back to yesterday. So as I was entering the freeway, I found myself unwittingly activating the autopilot and not knowing about it until some time later. At first, I didn't even notice that it had happened - my brain was telling me that I had been full conscious the whole time. However, a few things gave it away.

1. About twenty minutes passed.
2. The car was parked when I specifically remember driving not five seconds prior to that.
3. I somehow ended up in front of Target. (WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN)

Yeah. Target. That last point confused me, because I ended up following my own list, which I never seemed to follow until now. I figured, what the heck. I'll drop by for a bit, get my ten play coins for my 3DS, and then go home. As we can see with the above picture, we can see how well that went. Midway through my walk-around, my stomach ended up rumbling. They say that you shouldn't shop for food on an empty stomach, and if the picture was any indicator, I didn't follow that piece of advice.

So, after spending roughly $100 on groceries and other amenities, I blinked at myself. Not only was I partially entertained with myself (WHAT), but I now had groceries to last me for... if I guessed right, the next two weeks! This will save me money and will hopefully keep me from starving on the streets. (It will. I BOUGHT BACON.)

So if anything, the moral of the story is: boredom SUCKS.





Well, there we go - a totally awesome story that showcases my awesomeness. I'm not conning you or anything. Welp, I'll see you tomorrow.