Eve of Thanks

As it's the day before Thanksgiving, I say you should be thankful that I posted this for you like I said I would. Now be happy and eat your awesome grub!





CURRENT MUSIC:
Sergei Mantis - "Sea Breeze"
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater Original Soundtrack

When you listen to this, one of the first things you'll probably think of are the words "elevator music." Soothing, jazzy, calming - quite a relaxing track. I figured we could use a break from most other music pieces I put on here and play something that'll just relax your mind and heal that battered brain of yours (because too much work kills). Matter-of-fact, this track was one of eight "healing songs" used in Snake Eater. Simply dial a particular frequency in-game, and after listening to the music, Naked Snake's health and stamina would be fully restored.

The funny thing is that for something so soothing and mellow, it has a very high potential for ironic use. Perhaps the best example would be its use in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. One of the many items Old Snake has at his arsenal is an iPod (perhaps an iPod Classic), and "Sea Breeze" is one of the many songs the aged soldier can pick up along his journey. Like the "healing songs" in Snake Eater, "Sea Breeze" performs this job again, slowly restoring Snake's health and stamina while the iPod is playing. However, whenever I did this, I always made sure there was a battle going on close by while Snake lied down and listened along.

I mean, imagine the scenario - a war-torn area with people getting picked off left and right, and you're there listening to something like "Sea Breeze." See the irony?



"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
- Douglas Adams

There's a whooshing sound going off as I post this entry. =D





Welcome, everyone. Today's entry will feature two little big entrées before Thanksgiving, so I hope you prepared your mind to take in a bunch of text and pictures! Get ready to fill that tank of yours with awesome goodness!

No, not that tank. But yeah; if you need gas, get some, too.

And here we go!





Survey Time, Survey Time!
(Because social networking sites didn't already make you sick of 'em.)

Just to make sure you begin reading in a fun mood, I decided to blatantly steal totally "borrow" this survey thing I found on one of my friend's blog entries. I haven't done one of 'em in a while, so let's just see how interesting my responses are...

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1.) Who was the last person you held hands with?
Uhm, nobody.


2.) Are you loud, outgoing, or shy?
I'm all three. Believe it. My voice carries, and I'm one of those people who just has to get their say in - hence me being loud. I'm always one for going to places with friends and having some fun, so I have to be outgoing by that regard. However, while that's true, I'm also a bit timid around people and places I don't know all too well - and that's me being shy.


3.) Who are you looking forward to seeing?
I don't actually know if I'm looking forward for anything or anyone. Right now my life's just a jumbled mess that I want organized.


4.) Are you easy to get along with?
Indubitably - I'm a social butterfly like that. But God help you if you decide to annoy me and/or piss me off.


5.) Have you even given up on someone, but then gone back to them?
To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I'd have to ask my friends about that - apparently they're more knowledgeable about my life than I am.


6.) If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you?
Not sure - mainly because I haven't gone out drinking all that much. But I don't think they would. Don't get me wrong: I'm sure they would (assuming they cared for me as much as I care for them), but since I'm more than likely the designated driver, there's no possible way I could be drunk.

Oh, wait, the question's asking if I was drunk. Ohh... well, then, I'd say probably. Assuming they're not preoccupied with anything, of course.


7.) Do you think you'll be in a relationship two months from now?
Anything's possible. The odds (and my former self's train of thought) would conclude the answer to be something akin to a "frak no," but sometimes, you don't get to control what happens. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up being lucky for the Christmas season. Maybe I won't. Only time will tell, right?


8.) Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Nobody. As heartless as that sounds, if I begin thinking too much, I'll spiral out of control and into a depression. We don't need that, so there hasn't been much thinking about the opposite gender lately.


9.) Does talking about sex make you feel uncomfortable?
A bit. In this day and age where chivalry and actual romantic courtships are nothing but myths, it puts those who are in (what I call) "the dying breed" in a bit of a nervous bind when the subject arises. I mean, if I'm asked, I'll eventually give some kind of half-assed response, but... *shrugs slowly*


10.) Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Can't remember this. I haven't really had time to hang out one-on-one with anyone lately. That, and I've been in such an excellent mindset this year so far, so there hasn't been much of a discussion.

Of course, this all depends on the definition of "deep" being used. I'm not sure if any of my big discussions have actually been considered as "deep," so until I get a firm definition, I'm just going to say "no."


11.) What does your most recent text say?
"So far, yeah. I think. *shrugs*"


12.) How do you feel about abortion?
Personally, I'm pro-life on the basis that it's still a human life no matter which side of the coin you look at. To me, killing an unborn child is like killing that one person at your school/job/local hangout that nobody likes. Yes, we don't want them around. Yes, they're probably frakkin' annoying. Yes, they're a needs-to-be-excised tumor that's leeching off of your fun and sanity. But do we really have to resort to violent maneuvers just to keep our chuckle-headed selves happy? No. We don't. In a way, I kinda wish it was illegal to abort, just so those women who thought of pregnancy as an inconvenience to their sex life could learn the ultimate lesson.

Of course, I'm just one opinion against a gazillion out there. More importantly: in the end, it's not my choice whether or not the "KILL" button is pressed - it's the pregnant woman's.

However, if there's a scenario where not performing the abortion would result in the woman's death (I'm pretty sure there's been a few medical scenarios like this already), then I'll just have to put my opinions on hold and reconsider the circumstances.


13.) Do you like big crowds of people?
No. Not at all. There's a high chance of mob mentality breaking out if so much as ten of them get pissed off because of a message they received from an outside party. Those ten have the power to distort this message to the point where everyone in the crowd gets pissed off as well.

Yeah, I know - I extrapolated a bit, but you know I'm right.


14.) Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Not really. Quoting Cavil from Battlestar Galactica: "Supernatural divinities are the primitive's answer for why the sun goes down at night." Most things out there are rather explainable by common mathematics and science. The other stuff? Well, if you want to be a religious bigot (who probably doesn't know any better), then go ahead and say it was some supernatural force beyond our control. Let the realists use actual intelligence and prove otherwise.

Bottom line? Luck's just the laws of probability swinging in your favor. Miracles are events that people need some kind of "explanation" for. So no, I don't really believe in either.


15.) What good thing happened this summer?
...I turned 22? I don't know - I was too busy working and not really paying attention to what was going on around me. Maybe something good happened that I just don't remember.


16.) Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
*bemused chuckle*


17.) Do you think there is life on other planets?
I'd say so. Considering how Mars has ice caps (what's ice made out of?) and microorganisms are being found on meteorites, there's got to be.


18.) Do you still talk to you first crush?
No.


19.) Do you like bubble baths?
No. I'll admit: they're lots of fun and you get to soak your worries away. However, that's just a large waste of water right there. Water that could be used for other, much better things. Like Super Soaker ammunition, for instance. Torture devices. Boiling pasta noodles. Hot, steamy shower sex, even.


20.) Do you like your neighbors?
*looks around* I have neighbors? And here I was thinking they were just houses full of other people who I'll outrun when Z-Day occurs.


21.) What are your bad habits?
There's quite a few on my plate, but for the sake of brevity I'll only list what I've considered as the biggest of them:

• my stubborn and prideful streak
• being a Grammar Nazi (it's at the point where my work friends jokingly call me "Führer")
• possessing bad financial impulses
• not getting enough sleep

Yes. Those're all pretty bad, I know. Could be worse, right?


22.) Where would you like to travel?
I'd love to do a cross-country road trip across the mainland United States. If I ever overcame my fear of flying, I'd probably want to hit up other places, like Japan, the Philippines, the U.K., Germany, France, and Italy.


23.) Do you have trust issues?
Quite indeed. (And how!)


24.) Favorite part of your daily routine?
That part where things go my way. Like friends not bailing out on plans we all made. Or that moment I punch out of work for the night.


25.) What body part are you most uncomfortable with?
The whole shebang. I'm not that fit.


26.) What do you do when you wake up?
If I had lots to drink the night prior (not necessarily alcohol, mind you): restroom.
If I had work to go over: power on the laptop.
If I had little sleep and feel that I should get more: go back to sleep.


27.) Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
Darker by just a tad. Easily doable with a set day for suntanning or something.


28.) Who are you most comfortable around?
My friends, really.


29.) Have any of your ex's told you they regret breaking up?
[Josh arches an eyebrow at the camera as it pans out from behind him, where nobody is standing] ...I have ex's?


30.) Do you ever want to get married?
Yes. I'm going to leave it at that, because there's "nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh?" (Yes, that's a sarcastic tone there on the quote.)


31.) Is your hair long enough for a ponytail?
...yes. Honestly, I think this is the longest I've had it. It's getting to the point where it's interfering with my food. Might have to hack some of it off.


32.) Which celebrities would you like to have a threesome with?
Hrm. Tough question. Not a "there's so many choices" tough, but more like a "I don't really give a frak about celebrities' personal lives (because I'll never get to meet them)" tough.

Well, I can't think of who they'd be at the moment, so you'll have to get back to me on that.


33.) Spell your name with your chin:
ijolsdhnjn blasznjhcfvol

...yeah, that didn't go well. *scratches head* Sounds awesome, though - especially since my last name now looks pseudo-Russian. Blaz-nik-vol?" "Blaznykvohl?"


34.) Do you play sports?
Noooooope.


35.) Would you rather live without TV or music?
Television, hands down. While that means I would never get to witness things like Avatar: The Last Airbender, Battlestar Galactica, and How I Met Your Mother again, not having music would just leave me in an aural Hell.


36.) Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
As the kind of man who keeps the darker emotions in reserve (usually), I have to say that I have done just that - liked someone, never told them, lived to regret not telling them.


37.) What do you say during awkward silences?
I don't say anything unless I'm playing the role of "sarcastic smart(-ass) guy" - sometimes I have the means to break the silence; sometimes I don't; sometimes I live to torture the others around me with the silence.


38.) Do you think age matters in relationships?
Slightly. While I know love transcends a lot of things, there's still a certain age disparity that's observed - even if both parties won't admit it. It's more of a western world stigma, but there's this subconscious feeling of disgust that comes up when both parties' ages prove to be a vast difference. I won't get into that; it would take too long.

As for myself, there's a "rule" floating around the Internet that I've dubbed the "age disparity formula," where it is "used" as a rule of thumb in the western world to see if a couple were socially acceptable age-wise. If you know basic algebra, then you should be able to understand it perfectly.

Where:
"y" = age of the younger person in the relationship
"x" = age of the older person

So, let's take my age of 22 and pretend that I was dating someone who was... let's say, 19. Half of 22 is 11. 11 plus 7 equals 18. 18 is indeed less than or equal to 19, so there wouldn't be any stigma whatsoever.

Now, to showcase an example of this "rule" in effect, let's garner a look at Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. The titular character Scott is 22, and near the beginning of the movie he begins dating Knives, a 17-year-old high schooler. Now while dating a high schooler was bad enough for Scott, when you take the age disparity rule and apply it here, the math ends at a clearly incorrect "17 ≥ 18" - earning more disapproval from Scott's friends.

Traditionally, this "rule" was set up in mind assuming the older person is male. However, as it's the 21^st Century I decided to reform it so that either gender could be the older one.

So in conclusion, as long as the "law" holds out okay, then age doesn't matter.


39.) What are your favorite stores to shop in?
None of them, unless I have money to buy me stuff.


40.) What did you think you'd be doing after high school?
There were a lot of things I thought I'd be doing. None of them have been achieved thus far, though.


41.) Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
That depends on what they're getting a second chance from and if they've actually learned their lesson. (Or how much of a sap I am for being too bloody nice.)


42.) If you're being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
Oh, that could mean anything. I could be thinking; I could be zoned out; I could be rendered catatonic by some event.


43.) Do you smile at strangers?
Depends. If I catch them doing something stupid, I'll end up cursing at them under my breath. But above all else, I won't show any sort of emotion directly at them other than a curt nod.

But if the stranger in question's a cute girl, then... *shrugs* ...maybe.


44.) What would you prefer: a trip to outer space, or the bottom of the ocean?
I'd have to pick the trip to outer space. For one, you can't drown in space (unless someone chucked you into a water tank or something). Secondly, if I got to go to space, I'd bet I'd be inside some super special awesome ship of some kind... like, oh, I don't know... the Galactica, maybe? =P

But seriously, space. Everyone knows what's under the ocean. Not everyone knows what's out in space, though. That'd be fun to explore.


45.) Do you want a roomate?
I don't think I'm capable of being alone, no matter how much I pretend to go all "lone wolf" in some projects. So yeah, I'd want a roommate.


46.) What are you paranoid about?
According to my friends, I think it'd be easier to ask me what I'm not paranoid about...


47.) What was the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?
"I want you to die."


48.) The nicest thing?
People say nice things to me?


49.) Have you done something recently that you hope no one finds out?
Maybe I have. Maybe I haven't. Obviously stuff like that is on the highest security clearance I have set up, so as such, nobody really knows. (Unless they possess clearance, but that's another story.)


50.) What language do you want to learn?
Tagalog. Russian. German. Japanese. Latin. Something made up.

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Well, that was certainly... interesting. Now that the fun's out of the way, it's time for the more serious half of this entry to begin.





Thanks For This Paper
(This is what happens when you let a writer get bored.)

With the American holiday of Thanksgiving looming around the corner, many people wishing to celebrate the festivities are beginning or have already begun preparations. Plans are developed and organized between families and friends wishing to congregate and make merry together. Cranberry farmers sell their wares for massive profits after a year's worth of toiling. Elsewhere, in an act of legalized genocide, turkeys and pigs that have been carefully raised have been slaughtered in the name of awesome-tasting baked/fried turkeys and/or honey-glazed spiral hams.

This all sounds delightful and delectable, doesn't it? Anyone gathering together is sure to have a massive amount of entertaining times (or if you're a cynic: drama). The food is sure to be deliciously gluttonizing and (let's face it:) fattening. No doubt this is what the modern American Thanksgiving is all about.

…or is it?

I seem to remember some anecdotal history lesson from elementary school about the "first" Thanksgiving. You know the story – how a bunch of inept European "exiles" (read: "pilgrims") crossed over the Atlantic, made berth in what is now known as New England, and griped and whined about how crappy and underleveled their farming skills were. Their neighbors, the indigenous tribes who already lived on the land, began to get tired of their white-skinned neighbors' incessant complaints. So, they brought over a bunch of freshly-picked corn and other locally-grown food to the pilgrims so they could give a step-by-step tutorial. However, the now-starved "exiles" saw this presentation as the long-overdue "welcome to the neighborhood" party they've been craving, so they brought out their own food and thanked the natives with "totally clean and laundered blankets" [smallpox link] and gunshot wounds.

I notice those baffled stares out there. What: did the history books say something different?

Anyway, the whole point of that completely fabricated story was to show our impressionable young minds what American Thanksgiving is all about: murdering nice people for no good reason whatsoever acknowledging our blessings (if any were received) and giving thanks for each and every one of the. Every last Thursday on November, we reflect on how good it felt to rid the world of those savages [Pocahontas "Savages" song YouTube link] our circumstances and factor just how much worse our lives could have been at that point in time. We could be poor and unable to afford time to relax and sit down with our familes; we could have no warm grub to overfill our bellies with; we could be caught out in the cold with no roof over our heads or warm clothing to keep us from freezing; we could be gravely sick – heck, we could be dead.

Yet we aren't, and so we find ourselves seated with our friends and family at a table that runneth over with a bountiful amount of quality food. (Alcohol optional but totally necessary for an awesomer time.) It's all great and tasty until some chucklehead decides to ask the entire party, "Hey, what's everyone thankful for?"



So what's got me wondering about this whole Thanksgiving season and its associated question, you ask? Well, at work one day I plopped myself down in our break room when I noticed a rather large poster adorning one of the walls. In the middle in big letters was the following question:

What are you thankful for?

Our Human Resources team decided to slap this on there just to see what everyone's reactions would be. To this day it's gotten people to sign the board with varying responses.

Originally, I came into writing this paper thinking nobody really knows the meaning of Thanksgiving anymore. While we've outlawed the practice of handing out smallpox-infested blankets, we no longer commit ourselves to the other part of Thanksgiving: showing thanks to those who've helped us; counting our blessings; reminding ourselves that we could be in far worse scenarios. Most importantly of all, we no longer show gratitude but hunger.

Well, like I said, that's what I originally thought.

During the process of writing this little treatise up, I decided to get a glimpse of what people are thankful for this year, just to see what the current trends are. The idea was to go up to someone and ask them a simple question:

What are you thankful for this year?

To get a varied response to an otherwise straightforward question, I decided to find the most varied group of individuals who I figured had a good chance of varying statuses: my job at Target. Along with their answers are some of the ones I found inscribed on the wall. For the sake of privacy, all quotes have been rendered as anonymous.

(Author's Note: This may or may not be entirely accurate. I did my best to record their responses verbatim, but I can only type on my phone so fast. If you recognize your quote and find that it doesn't match what you said exactly, I apologize. If anything, I ad-libbed it so that the message your were conveying to me was still clear, so I guess that counts for something…)

"I'm thankful that I'm alive and nobody's killed me."

"I am thankful for the entire UNIVERSE!"

"2011, because I had many trying lessons that - while most of them were bad - were a learning experience. I'm happy I experienced them right now while I'm young rather than later."

"Shit."

"I'm thankful for my friends, family, and all the amazing people that have come into my life!"

"I'm thankful that I'm permanent [as opposed to being a seasonal hire]."

"Booze. Booze."

"I'm thankful [Black Friday] only happens once a year, That, and the fact that I'm of age to numb my holiday joys with alcohol. Legally."

"I'm thankful to everyone who has shown me love, happiness, and to those who created [Call of Duty:] Modern Warfare 3!"

"That I have a job in this tuff [sic] economy."

"Life, dawg. Just to be living... just to be breathing..."

"I'm probably going to have to say Hawaiian barbecue."

"I am thankful that my children will be home for Christmas."

"Not a whole lot."

"I'm thankful for Goku [from Dragon Ball Z]!"

I figured there'd be some satirical and not-so-serious answers, but I still got enough to help me write the rest of this out.

It seems that a good portion of people out there are grateful for the people around them. That's good - it shows that we as a species aren't exactly doomed just yet. It also instills a bit of hope in any cynic (assuming they're open to changes of heart) and gives us all that warm, fuzzy feeling inside, knowing that we matter to some people. Possessing a job seemed to be a big one, too. In these trying times it's important to be able to provide for ourselves and those we live with, so that would explain why it showed up so much.

I find it well that people are still thankful for things like that - while it's fun to be thankful for some petty things, we have to remember that they don't count - the people, the jobs, the at-home stability, and the breath of life are.



Now the question that remains to be answered is this:

"What am I thankful for?"

Well, to be honest, that's a difficult question to answer. I tried counting my blessings, but I stopped after I realized that while I've improved my demeanor, more bad has shown up than good in my life this year.

So after failing to come up with a decent-sized list of things to be thankful for, I decided to expand my search and included random things that I should be thankful for. Each of the entries below carry varying levels of craziness, but there's heartfelt thanks with each of them.



I'm thankful to still have a job despite how crappy this economy has been. Yeah, I'm aware this one's probably been overused to death by just about everyone, but a cliché is a cliché for a reason. Having a job helps me financially (which in these trying times is always a good thing). It also provides me with a good source of friends and fun times (and in rare cases, yelling contests between guests).

I'm thankful for the existence of Blizzard Entertainment, because without them, I never would have learned how to type (fast). Despite its best efforts, those "Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing" programs did jack squat for me. (Plus, they were boring.) Then I was exposed to StarCraft and the wonders of Battle.net. When I began playing online, I was the kind of person who employed the "hunt-and-peck" method of typing, but that proved to be highly disastrous. Typing so slow meant that I couldn't communicate with my teammates fast enough. This forced me to learn and adjust my methods, and before long, I was typing all crazy-fast. Now I could actually warn my teammates with a "[Zerg]ling rush inc[oming]" instead of letting the enemy forces warn my allies about my incoming message.

I'm thankful for possessing a smart phone. Being able to access the Internet, check my bank account statements, and fully customize my contact lists has come in handy for me. I love it. It's gotten me out of a few pinches (particularly when I had to post a last-second entry)

I'm thankful that I've improved my morale and overall disposition. Last year I was anything but happy. (You've probably heard this story before, but damn if I don't shove it down your throats one more time.) I think my pessimistic demeanor was a boil that oughta' be lanced away from society. Now one year later, I've grown to be more optimistic and opportunistic, and seldom are the days where I just go all trigger-happy with the anger and frustrations of life.

I'm thankful for the people around me who've helped me get to where I am. I'm thankful also for the future help they will provide that will get me where I strive to be. They (along with help from myself) have molded me into what I am now, and I could never have accomplished such a task by myself.

I'm thankful that I got to post something fun and long like this today so I can continue saying that I've posted something once a day each day.

But most of all, I'm thankful for you, the reader, for reading this (assuming, of course, that you're not a skimming bastard). Each day that I hear that people read this, I warm up and smile inside. It's what's kept me from missing my deadlines each night (among other things), so it's a win-win - you get to read and be a fan, and I get to not miss deadlines and know that someone, somewhere - finds my life and written tirades amusing.





So, as it's Thanksgiving Eve here in the USA, I'll ask you Americans reading this (and for those of you who celebrate this holiday anyway) of a favor.

Think about what you're thankful for (and I mean really think). Post it somewhere public. Tell someone. Don't let it stay bottled up. And when you declare your thanks, be thankful that you did.

Until the 'morrow's feast, everyone! Take care!